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Author Topic: ghetto christians  (Read 12017 times)

Offline choirmem

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ghetto christians
« on: January 06, 2006, 09:05:46 AM »
>You Know You A Ghetto Christian If--
>1. You lie on an application to get a job and then get up and testify
>that "God made a way out of no way
>2. You get mad at a visitor and call them out for sitting in YOUR seat.
>3. You tell the preacher to baptize you from the neck down because you
>just got your hair did!
>4. You take 2 hours to get ready for church, get there late, and leave
>early!!!
>5. You open your Bible and you cough from the dust that flies out.
>6. Your wedding song is 'Secret Lovers'.
>7. You do not lift your hand during worship because your! acrylic nail
>is broken.
>8. The only time you like to sing in the choir is when they let you sing
>"your" song.
>9. You do not tithe because you say, "the preacher might be crooked and
>stealing the Lord's money, so I don't want to give it to him."
>10. After you've done wrong and someone has rebuked you, you don't
>repent but you say, "Well the Lord knows m! y heart" .
>11. If you have ever said, "show me in the Bible where it says, thou
>shall not smoke".
>12. Your favorite part of the service is the benediction.
>13. You buy "hot" merchandise and testify the Lord blessed me with! a
>TV, jewelry, clothes, etc
>14. You overheard someone say, "We got fed today at service" and you
>asked if they served chicken.
>15. You just got finished smoking on the outside of the church and then
>try to lead a song, get choked up, holding your throat and say to the
>congregation, "The devil don't want me to sing this song."
>
>Pass this on to let others know the signs of a "ghetto" Christian.
>
>Always keep people in your life that charge your battery, not those who
>will drain it.
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Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2006, 09:52:28 AM »
When you get too much change back from the store and say"What a blessing God knows just what I needed" :?  :?  Your Ghetto
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EMAMASHATA

Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2006, 10:09:38 AM »
Quote from: B-3_trainee
When you get too much change back from the store and say"What a blessing God knows just what I needed" :?  :?  Your Ghetto


If you got a church Bro. that sells bootleg cds, dvds, and oils after church.(we got one)
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EMAMASHATA

Offline 3rd-Day

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ghetto christians
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2006, 10:10:12 AM »
On communion Sunday when the tray comes to you, everbody in the row gotta wait, cause you lookin for the biggest piece of bread/cracker and the the glass that has the most Juice in it.  Talking bout "I aint eat no breakfast this morning!"  You need to stop playin!!!!
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Im too tall to act small.

Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2006, 10:47:56 AM »
Quote from: 3rd-Day
On communion Sunday when the tray comes to you, everbody in the row gotta wait, cause you lookin for the biggest piece of bread/cracker and the the glass that has the most Juice in it.  Talking bout "I aint eat no breakfast this morning!"  You need to stop playin!!!!


FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
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EMAMASHATA

Offline Muziqmann

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ghetto christians
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2006, 10:50:25 AM »
Y'all are funnie.
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When the minstrel played, the hand of the LORD was upon him.  II Kings 3:15

Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2006, 10:59:54 AM »
If you got a Deacon thats been married to 2 or more of the Mothers.

If when you have Baptism you and your kids show up with beach towels, swimsuits and a cooler with huggie juices and yall tryin to cook out.
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EMAMASHATA

Offline 3rd-Day

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ghetto christians
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2006, 11:42:32 AM »
If you have to watch 106 and Park so you can get some new shoutin steps. Now you know you know bettah!!!
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Im too tall to act small.

Offline 3rd-Day

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ghetto christians
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2006, 12:04:55 PM »
Quote
If when you have Baptism you and your kids show up with beach towels, swimsuits and a cooler with huggie juices and yall tryin to cook out.



Yo I didnt even see this, You crazy!!! :D
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Im too tall to act small.

Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2006, 12:21:34 PM »
If your usher board requires you to carry a gun.

If you practice speaking in tounges talking bout "shondaecholabanemo".

If your church is on the way to visit another church and stops at a random family reunion just to eat.
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EMAMASHATA

Offline 3rd-Day

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ghetto christians
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2006, 12:37:26 PM »
If your black dress pants are shiny, and your chior robe got a black ring aroung the collar.

If the bathrooms in your church got the tree shaped air refreshners that you supposed to put in cars.
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Im too tall to act small.

Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2006, 12:50:59 PM »
If you get married in your communion sunday outfit.

If you tell the trustees you need a keyboard stand and they get you a ironing board.
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EMAMASHATA

Offline 3rd-Day

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ghetto christians
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2006, 01:02:29 PM »
If your sound room got egg cartons glued to the wall.

If your church PA system is running off a car battery.  :D
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Im too tall to act small.

Offline B-3_trainee

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ghetto christians
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2006, 01:22:06 PM »
If your praise team has the my 1st mic with the speaker attached and its yellow, pink and lime green.

If when your praise dance team is done they have to pick up their tips off the floor.
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EMAMASHATA

Offline boyam

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ghetto christians
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2006, 09:24:39 PM »
Yall crazy yo.  My stomach is sore from laffin so much.
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Offline myoung92

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ghetto christians
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2006, 09:45:30 PM »
If your Pastor has a curl, your church may be ghetto.
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Offline musiq16

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ghetto christians
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2006, 11:19:35 PM »
If your church has a ATM machine and a concession stand in the front, your church may just be a little bit ghetto
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Offline musician_organist

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ghetto christians
« Reply #17 on: January 07, 2006, 12:15:37 AM »
oh, father...help me.  I can't breathe right now.  this is too funny.
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Offline SirTJ

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ghetto christians
« Reply #18 on: January 07, 2006, 01:05:15 AM »
- When you see someone drop a $20 on the ground and you shout your way over there to pick it up.

- You don't say Amen or anything during the entire service, but are the loudest one  shouting it during the benediction prayer.

- The church doesn't have any drum sticks so you go outside and pull some twigs off a nearby tree and use them

- When you write notes to people on the back of the fans during service

- When after service, while refreshments are being served, you send your three kids to get plates so you can have four plates instead of one.

- You sleep during the entire preaching, but when he gets to the heavy part you're the first one shouting.

- Every time offering is about to be taken up, you suddenly have to use the bathroom.
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Offline 3rd-Day

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ghetto christians
« Reply #19 on: January 07, 2006, 06:36:00 AM »
If the mothers in your church pull up in on sunday morning in a lac, sittin sideways, with they church hats tilted, throwin gang signs and while blastin "I wont complain".
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Im too tall to act small.
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