PreciousSongBird;
I was thinking about your situation and really can relate. I went through a dry period in my life and thought my life hit rock bottom too, but, God is able.
The first thing you have to do is pray and read your Bible. I'm like the woman with the issue of blood who will not let go of Jesus' robe until I get an answer.
If you are saved, you have a covenant with the Lord. He's not a God that he can lie nor will his word return to you void. (Isaiah 55:11)
Jesus told us to ask anything in his name (John 15:7) and he will give it to us.
Secondly, pick yourself up and apply for school. Especially while on unempoyment. You can get a grant for free. Take as many classes as you can handle. This will occupy your mind and get you the skills you need.
Lastly, you need to find out what is causing this pattern. For example: people who get a job and three months later their mouth get's them into trouble. (Just an example.) What ever the case, pray that God will help you with this. I'm a testimony too. I spoke and thought later of the consequences. So, ask God to help you - so you can control that problem. Or maybe, you really don't like being in this field but doing it for a quick fix to your job problem.
Lastly, I didn't mean to be so long. Just looking back - I remember being the only person in my High School labeled as "never to succeed." I had low self-esteem, etc... but God is a good God. He has blessed me tremensely. I'm a living "Ester" story. I'm the only African American in my office and I have more than half the staff under me and everybody wants my advice. But they don't realize that all day I pray. I keep Bible verses in my shoes (the steps of a good man is ordered from the Lord), coat, bag, etc. If something is getting on my nerves, I have a verse with me to keep me on track.
You can do it! If you think less of yourself, so will everyone else.
Trust God.
You're in my prayers.
