Anyone have challenges with their calling and their spouse?

[Yulandop]

Just asking, does anyone have any challenges being called to minister in music, from a leadership perspective, and conflicting with their spouses lack of support?

[JoanHall]

Wow, I didn't realize that this was a challenge for some people.  That gives me one more thing to be thankful for.  My husband has never tried to interfere or shown a lack of support for me carrying out my calling.  I think I'll go and give him a kiss right now.

[betnich]

I have seen it - when the spouse thinks that their SO is putting too much time into the ministry, to the detriment of family. Sometimes they are right....Just have to work to achieve a balance...

[Yulandop]

I've been playing for over 20yrs, shortly after marriag my spouse decides that she wants me to "worship" with her in the congregation as opposed to leading/playing on the platform.  I am really not fullfilled, or called to not utilize my gifting. 

[kodacolor]

I've been playing for over 20yrs, shortly after marriag my spouse decides that she wants me to "worship" with her in the congregation as opposed to leading/playing on the platform.  I am really not fullfilled, or called to not utilize my gifting. 

Wow.  That's pretty selfish.  Where was all this when you guys were dating?  I'm with benich that there are cases where people get so into it that they totally disregard their family.  If that was the cause I'd say pull back a bit, but I wouldn't say quit.  Pray about it.  It sounds like a heart issue on her end.  Only God can change that.

[Yulandop]

I was leading worship when we met.
Man, i could write a book.  I have had to settle many times to just sit in the congregation.
Here's another problem.  We've been going to mostly multicultural churches.  Most of them really have no style/flavor to their music.  What happens they hear me play, and usually the Minister of music gets intimidated because they cannot play that style of music and they want me to play a string patch here or there, or want to place me in a box to play what they want when they want it.  I'm like, I did not study music for years to be placed in a box in a church that doesnt want me and a spouse that wants me to sit in the congregation.  All along i have had to settle.
Can you see my frustration?

[kodacolor]

I was leading worship when we met.
Man, i could write a book.  I have had to settle many times to just sit in the congregation.
Here's another problem.  We've been going to mostly multicultural churches.  Most of them really have no style/flavor to their music.  What happens they hear me play, and usually the Minister of music gets intimidated because they cannot play that style of music and they want me to play a string patch here or there, or want to place me in a box to play what they want when they want it.  I'm like, I did not study music for years to be placed in a box in a church that doesnt want me and a spouse that wants me to sit in the congregation.  All along i have had to settle.
Can you see my frustration?

The church situation you can change by leaving sine you say they don't want you anyway.  The spouse situation...pray.

[betnich]

I was leading worship when we met.
Man, i could write a book.  I have had to settle many times to just sit in the congregation.
Here's another problem.  We've been going to mostly multicultural churches.  Most of them really have no style/flavor to their music.  What happens they hear me play, and usually the Minister of music gets intimidated because they cannot play that style of music and they want me to play a string patch here or there, or want to place me in a box to play what they want when they want it.  I'm like, I did not study music for years to be placed in a box in a church that doesn't want me and a spouse that wants me to sit in the congregation.  All along i have had to settle.
Can you see my frustration?

Wow, I feel you. Even in a Multicultural church you can have those who want to pull the music one way or another.
One of the hardest things is getting UNITY in our Praise Team - right now our leader is having people suggest new songs, and that leads to some picking ones they can sing lead on in their favorite genres, without regard to our (lack) of instrumentation or what would inspire worship in the congregation.

I have also been the Intimidation route, even though I am not as good as most on YouTube or on pro recordings. Typically the Pastor goes, "Wow! Can play Phat chords!" while others give me the stink-eye...

[jonesl78]

I have been very careful in how much time I spend in ministry because ministry can be overwhelming for you and your family. I usually sit with my wife while the word is being brought forth.

[phbrown]

I have been very careful in how much time I spend in ministry because ministry can be overwhelming for you and your family. I usually sit with my wife while the word is being brought forth.

+1 This is what I do. It took my wife a few years but I believe she accepts it now. But at first it was difficult. Especially because she did not know anyone and she felt alone. Now she knows people, and she knows to always have a empty seat next to her for me.