PERSONAL ADVISE?.... WARNING: NOT DIRECTLY ABOUT MUSIC

[iamworship]

Man U got mines as long as we get yours!! Cause man I need em(prayers)

"Know that your labor is not in vain"

[iamworship]

To Bboy------

I believe that the woman I am in this season of seperation from is my wife. No doubt. However I also know within me that there is more that God wants to deposit into my soul. It is not a contradiction but the truth of two realities. Knowing who my wife is and being ready are not the same. This may be a strech to understand but I will try to explain. When I look at the children of Isreal, God told Moses that Cannan was the promised land. Yet he could not lead them straight from Egypt into the promise land not because it was not for them to poses, nor was it because God changed his mind but it was because they were not ready. God had to kill some off and also change the minds and hearts of others before they could receive the promise.

Now I belive that it is the same in our lives. At times God says " Yes" to our request or desires but then he also has to "kill" off some things in us be it the flesh, pride whatever. 2nd eh has to adjust our thinking maybe humble us alittle so that when he raises us we do not get cauhgt up into self. I hope this makes sense.

When I think of marriage it is two people coming together. If you are like us we are both in our early 30's. So for 30 yrs we have developed our own mindsets , ways,  traits and ideas about what a husband should be, a wife should be. So we have preconcieved notions. We have our own selfish ways and not that selfish is bad but when you have only had to think primarily of yourself; what to eat , what to watch on T.V, when to cook, clean, what you want to do today, etc... All that has to be reprogramed.  And it takes some time with God seeking him and asking him to show you not what I think is marriage or what I think is a good wife but what He says. Not even what I think I already have as a man but it is saying " God take some time with me to show me, me. God I know that I can think somehting is right but in your eyes it be sin or wrong".  God remove my ideaologies and place in me yours for this union of marriage. Give me a new mind a new heart and let it be the same mind you give to her. Give her the same heart and passion you give to me.  man that is a process that must happen and it takes soem time in Gods workshop letting him tweak and rearrange some things in each of your lives.

Ultimately I believe alot of chrisitain relationships fail because they submited to their own devices and understandings about marriage and never yeilded their minds and hearts to God. doing this is what seperates us from God perfect will and we end up livng beneath or privilege in Gods permissive will.

Again ya'll it is just me and I'mjust tellin you what God has shown me for my Marriage..

[divinemusician]

iamworship, I agree on what you said, that was really tight, in other words, that was awesome.

[iamworship]

Glad it helped. that is what we are on hear for right to help each other out with not just music but life.. oh and they say art imitates life or something like that.. HA

[Annointed-n-Appointed]

Ultimately I believe alot of chrisitain relationships fail because they submited to their own devices and understandings about marriage and never yeilded their minds and hearts to God. doing this is what seperates us from God perfect will and we end up livng beneath or privilege in Gods permissive will...

This is very vital information iamworship.  I praise God for your comments.

[JayP5150]

I'm just now jumping in on this, but I thought I would tell my story.

My wife and I met in November, Engaged in January, and Married in May.

Let me fill in the blanks, for y'all: beforehand, my dad received a prophecy (at someone's kitchen table) that I wuold be at the side of a woman with short, dark hair, in front of a multitude, holding hands and reading from a bible.  Now, this hasn't happened in full yet, but hear the rest...

At that time, I was not even saved.  I had only met my now-wife once before when I was fourteen, but she knew my mother, and had all the information on me, but had never even seen a picture.  She had also received prophecy that her "soul was coming" and to be patient.  Basically, she claimed me.  She had decided to marry me before we even met (but, of course, she would not have had God's will been different).

We met at her cousin's wedding, went out for a few weeks, I got saved for real this time, and we talked about marriage within a month.  We get engaged, then I lose my job days later (nice try, devil, look at me now!).  She didn't work at all at that time.  I'm out of work for 6 weeks, get a temp job at a factory, and didn't start my permanant job at a Title company until a month before our wedding.  She still didn't have a job.

Everyone thought we were nuts.  She was moving away from home with no job, and a poor husband, but we've made it so far (1&1/2 yrs. so far--we've only got forever to go).  

Bottom line is that we knew it was from God, regardless of what everyone said (her pastor/uncle included--he married us, by the way).

I have since got a new job that has the potential to give me the earning to start our family, she has a great job with people she knows, and God is given glory for it all.

Oh, one of the coolest "God is awesome" parts of this story?  She had super-long hair for years before we met.  Remember that short-hair prophecy (the prophet didn't know it was her at the time, either) ?  She cut her hair only days before we met.  Why?  Only because her hairdresser fried it trying to color it.  Telling me that God won't use anyone?  That's proof.  His prophecy said short hair, she had to have short hair.  He made the way (no way she would have cut it otherwise).

Now we are just waiting for our calling to come to fruit.  We still have to stand in from of that multitude!

Go with your spirit (your spirit--not just your heart).  The Lord will let you know.  And if it's His will, ain't nothing stopping it, anyhow.

God bless.

[JoyCH]

Anointed;

I understand your point. It is better to marry than to burn  (burn meaning sin). But to marry young and broke is disasterous. Trust me, I'm not old. I married young and had children along the way - and it was hard. We live in a society were married couples are expected to be divorced within 2-4 years. Sixty-eight percent of homes are managed by single mothers with no paternal involvement. There are thousands upon thousand of foster children in the Human Services System. The Government is investing in prisons - more than job. I think you see where I'm going.

I also believe we tend to look for love when we're in search of self fulfillment because of emptiness. I read today in the Meditations On The Purpose Driven Life that the most important thing we can do for God, is love Him. Something we tend to put into others instead of God.

Joy

[BBoy]

I agree. We must understand that courting, dating, and marriage do have some cultural and private, personal aspects to them. Many times we see a young married couple who seem to be doing great. What we don't know (because it is none of our business) is often that their parents / grandparents are helping them. Of course, that can be a mess in and of itself, because when your folks are helping you they often think they have a right to control what you do, how you raise your children, etc.  8O But that's another issue.

People sometimes talk about what went on in Bible times. You must understand the culture of that time. In the Bible, people usually had an inheritance. A young wife came to live with her husband, who often built a house for them near (or sometimes connected to) his father's house. Many times young sons took over their father's businesses or lands or farms. This is why childless couples often prayed for a son, so their inheritance wouldn't be lost because women very seldom could own land. So marriage was different, not doctrinally speaking but CULTURALLY speaking. Also, it was not unusual in Bible times for a fifteen, sixteen year old girl to marry a forty year old man, because that was the time that the man was considered financially able to support a family. Women were very seldom educated, so as soon as they could have children and take care of a home they were considered ready for marriage. To top it all off, most marriages were even arranged BY the parents! I don't think I would like that very much!  :wink: Quite different from today, isn't it?  :wink:

We westerners don't typically do this. We typically build our own lives, which puts a different CULTURAL aspect to dating, courting and preparing for marriage. Regardless of inheritance, we encourage people to build their own futures, choose their own spouses.  This isn't wrong necessarily, but it does put a different spin on the aspect of marriage, because there is less help from others, y'all follow me? You see, when parents were picking FOR thier children they were doing it with WISDOM and EXPERIENCE. They know that the face, hourglass figure, hair and smile are not the only things to consider when choosing a wife for their son. They knew that they couldn't choose a husband for their daughter based on his winning smile and hair and biceps. They also knew that if they didn't set their children up financially and make sure they were prepared, the children wouldn't be happy.  

If you are single and you know that there is no one that can or will help you, you better use some of that wisdom. Get that credit score up. Pay those bills on time and get out of debt.  Have a plan for your life and submit it to GOD. Listen folks, do you know that well over half of divorces are rooted in financial problems? As posted before, when two people are broke it is amzaing how quickly they fall out of love.

That is why people who are courting dating considering marriage etc. need sound counseling from a seasoned, Word-based saint in a happy marriage themselves. Let them give you sound wisdom from the Word and pray with you. Then, God's children can enjoy those romantic emotions without the devil stealing them through lack of knowledge, poverty or stress.

Just my two cents . . . Be Blessed.