When to leave?

[Tlove]

I am glad this topic is out here because I to am in this place of needing to know whether to stay or go. My reason for not knowing whether to stay or go is different.  It is my Pastor he feels that I am not really a minister of music. I have only been a MOM for two years I came to my church which was not my church at the time just to play the organ and then the current MOM left and went to ATL. So the Pastor asked me if I wanted to take over and I said yes. I had a career in IT but it was my dream to play music fulltime. I left my fulltime job to go into ministry fulltime. At that time he worked out a figure that was close to what I was making after taxes; he did that by not taking taxes out of my paycheck. I was a 1099 independent contractor so I was fine with that. I was a struggling musician when I started because I let fear grip me for so many years and I told the Pastor that I have never done this before and said that all God wants is a willing heart and he will give you the rest. The first year was terrible unlike the guy who started this post I did not play in every key and I had never taught parts before. But this was the divine order of God, God put me in a position to face all of my fears I HAD NO CHOICE and things started coming out of me that I did not know was there. Everything I needed to lead people and teach parts and play was now in full swing. I understood what purpose was all about, my gifts did not kick in until I was in purpose. I grew as a leader but it was tough, after about 3 months my Pastor was on me for singing the same songs over and over but I was like I am just trying to keep things a float. There was no transition for me I was thrown in the fire and had to produce and I did. Then when I got comfortable I started teaching songs and he would stop me and tell me that those songs are too old we are a teaching ministry don't do old songs; he only wants new praise and worship.  So the next knock against me was he wanted me to play hymns but he knew I did not read music and keep in mind he had just told me not to do old stuff.  I have been in a very hostile environment from the beginning because the MOM before me had almost 10 years experience so the level of what I brought was different than what he was use to. My Pastor main concerns have always been a big choir and new music. Those are not my main concerns; I am not your typical MOM I care more about the spiritual side of things more so than the music. I would rather have a few of anointed people who understood what it meant to bring in the presence of God than to have a entire choir stand full of just people to say I have a big choir.  Because the Pastors main concern is a big choir I have many people in the choir that should not be there. They don't have the spiritual maturity or voices. I spend more time teaching the same thing over and over because I don't have quality people.  All of my quality people are on the praise team, I feel like I am pleasing my Pastor more than pleasing God. All my Pastor wants is the new music and teaching the new music to the people I work with takes time. There have been times when worship was in the house and he would cut it off to welcome the visitors. Or he would send me a note to do a song that was not in the flow of praise and worship. His idea of praise and worship is different from mine I am a Friend of God is a nice song but that is not true Praise and Worship. There were times when he got up and said he was not feeling praise and worship during Sunday service so we had a to sing a song that he likes for him to feel like Praise and Worship was right. He would tell me that I am not a good leader because sometimes my Praise and Worship leader would be flowing with God and we would sing something not planned.

To top everything off my Pastor told me that I am not a Minister of Music because I can't read music, because I am not a good leader because I am not out every Sunday asking people to join the choir so we have numbers.  He told me that I was over paid and my salary needed to be revaluated. That crushed me because I was taught that when you are in purpose your provisions are there and now my provision are not there any more. Now I am thankful for what he told be me because God told who I was and I know that I know I am a Minster of Music. I bought a house and before I closed he told me to come and talk to him about my pay, when I did the first thing he told me was why do you deserve a raise? I said I did not ask for a raise, he told me based off your performance what you have done to deserve a raise. I don't know about anyone else but I don't agree that a MOM should have a performance revue we are not performers and a performance review is something that the world uses to justify pay increases.  I told him doing my week to week duties which include choir rehearsal on Wed. 4pm-9 Thur Praise Team rehearsal and Bible study 4pm-9 I rehears the praise team from 6pm-7pm and then we have praise and worship for bible study. I am there Friday morning 8am-1pm and two serves on Sunday 9am and 11. I have not missed a Sunday since I started I have only misses a few rehearsals and bible study, he told me none of that was worthy of pay increase. He wanted to know what else outside of that I had done in the ministry. I said nothing we had a Christmas concert the first one ever and he said he wanted in late Oct. I rehearsed the choir twice a week on one of my days off; he told me that I could not count that because it was not my idea.

On top of all of that on Sunday's if the praise team did not sound right in sound check he would call me in his office and tell me they sound bad, like I was suppose to sing for them or to tell me he did not like the songs we were singing so change then. He would give me a list of songs he wanted to hear. I would have to deal with that and come back out and prepare the worship team for Sunday. That was very hard at first but I got use to it. My choir and Praise Team are what keep me going at church not my Pastor. My pastor wants someone who just cares about getting the music out and having a big choir and that is not me. My pastor has never made any comments about the spiritual aspect of the worship ministry; I have had women give testimonies about being delivered from cancers because we worshiped God in rehearsal. Whenever worship falls in the house I refuse to rush people out of the presence of God. I got in trouble by my pastor once for letting a minister in my choir anointed people with oil and pray for them. He told me someone called him and told him that spooky stuff was going on in rehearsal and that rehearsal is not the place for that.  We were worship after rehearsal and the minister came to me and said that God put it on her heart to anoint the choir I said ok and people were being slain in the spirit without anyone touching them.

I have vented long enough I said all of that to say I heard someone say your season is up when you don't have favor where you once had it. My pastor has tried twice to replace me. There have been two different musicians who were suppose to start playing with me and he did not even talk to me about them. He told me that they were starting, I feel in my heart that he wants to replace me but he has not because God has not allowed him to find what he thinks he is looking for. I have not left yet because whatever I am suppose to learn I want to learn it. I do not want to repeat this lesson.I feel my season is up what about you

[JoyCH1]

I'm going to stay, just whenever I get a Word from God in whatever form He presents it I'll move but until then...I'll stay.

Wise choice. You can't do anything until God tells you to leave. If you did so before hand, you will only encounter the same issues some place else.

Joy

[docjohn]

i have a similar issue,would ask your advice and prayer.i've beensaved 12 years,and have seved inthe churches i've been a member in,witout any pay,compensation.i've served in other positions as well as praise team,even providing all of my own equipment.however,in my strongest gifting-evangalism and teaching,i've not been given the opportunity.for the last year,pastor and associate pastor ask me to serve,but then never allow it to happen.my brother is currently in iraq,he has 2 purple hearts for prior servive.i asked to place a box in the hallway to collect used movies,dvd,s cd's, and send to him.ive asked four times,witout an answer.recently,my pastor has begun to "correctc" my prayers at prayer time and dis my knowledge and understanding of the WORD.however,when i research WORD,and come back showing the correctness of my understanding,he asks why i'm bringing it up.so,unless i'm mistaken,he really is not fathering me.he's a nice enough guy.not vulgar rude,but sort of a sticking it to me with asmile.sorta crazy-study to be a berean,but you can't do that around here.any discernment?

[ferrente]

Great point Joy!