I'm Not Being Treated Fairly

[lil_laski]

Recently, I have had to face some issues with a church that I started playing for when I was in the 10th grade. I'm now a college student have been studying music for the past 3 years at the university that I currently attend.  When I first started at this church, it was great and I can never remember me having it out with any of the members or anyone associated with the music ministry.

I graduated from high school in 2007 and went off to college which is 153 miles (2hrs) away. I often times return to play for the church on most weekends when I didn't have performances with the various collegiate ensembles that I am a part of on campus.
Last year is where the problem began! The other lady who plays the piano at the church was diagnosed with cancer and she was out for about 3 months. I was asked how much would I accept to come down EVERY Sunday. My answer was $200/Sunday in a nut-shell. Truth of the matter is, I am very knowledgeable about my gift because I am a music major and that's what I do. On top of that, it's over 300 miles on my vehicle for me to get there and back.....with that being said I didn't think $200 was a problem.

About a month later, the pastor called me and informed me that they were going to have to cut my check down to $75 a Sunday when I don't have rehearsal with the choir and $150 if I'm able to have rehearsal and render services on Sunday morning. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE AGREED TO! I left the church but I came back because I knew that I was supposed to be at church.

Recently, the same thing has happened, and I realized that I am much worth more, plus I have rent and utilities to pay just as he does, and it's sometimes hard being a minister of music. This past Sunday I was asked to come back this weekend top play....my response was "I would if I could afford it, but the truth is it takes me more than $75 on gas to get here so I can't do it." The pastor then called me the following day and said that if we pay you $175, will you come. I agreed, but insisted that we meet and talk about some things once I get there. He never responded, but then I get a text message today that reads: "Sis___ will be here Sunday so, she's going to play for us so you don't have to come and play."

I'm tired of being used. I don't understand how the pastor can get a raise and I can't...why is it a problem. I know someone is going to say, well it's not about the money. That is true because honestly, I've been asked to accept a position with another church where I would be making $650 a Sunday. All I'm asking for $300/Sunday to drive over 300 miles to come play for this church. 

The question is: Will I be wrong to leave the church if they decide not to meet my request?  What do you think about the whole situation?   

[LaylaMonroe]

Are you a member there?

[under13]

That would be an easy decision for me. I don't like people who play games with my time and money.

[lil_laski]

Are you a member there?

Yes, I joined after my first year in college (3 years into playing at that church), but at that time, I was getting paid more than I am now.

[malthumb]

lil_laski,

Welcome to LGM!

You will quickly find out that "should musicians get paid?" is one of the more frequently discussed and more heated topics here.

My opinion of your situation is that you would be perfectly justified in maintaining your membership at your hometown church, declining any further offer they may make to have you play for them, and playing at the church that pays you $650.

You have met your hometown church more than halfway on this and they continue to look for ways to marginalize your position.  You need to put yourself in a position where they CANNOT take advantage of you. That means you should consider yourself no longer available to play there.

So now your decision is......drive 153 miles each way on a Sunday to occupy a pew in the congregation (a perfectly good option) or accept a paid position at another church.  For me the decision would be fairly easy.

One issue that could arise is if the church that hired you require that you become a member.  You would have to search your heart for the path to choose there.

Peace,

James

[LaylaMonroe]

I agree with Malthumb, but I'll add that the situation alone is not reason enough to resign your membership from the church, but it's certainly a reason not to do business with them anymore (play for pay). I wouldn't negotiate or accept another nickel from them. Ever.

But you may go back home after college or who knows what else may change. In that event, you can still be a member there without playing there.

[lil_laski]

I guess I should have worded it different. I haven't planned on moving my membership, but as you guys have suggested, I was just going to go play somewhere else. I really appreciate your insight. Thanks so much.

[musallio]

I agree with Malthumb, but I'll add that the situation alone is not reason enough to resign your membership from the church, but it's certainly a reason not to do business with them anymore (play for pay). I wouldn't negotiate or accept another nickel from them. Ever.

But you may go back home after college or who knows what else may change. In that event, you can still be a member there without playing there.

I agree with Layla on the 1st para [seeing that you are 100s of miles away.

But I would not encourage you not to offer your services [even free of charge] to bless people gathered in the name of the Lord [For me it's better to do that than to warm the pews while the church hires someone from afar whilst you are a member and you can play. Consider it as a service unto God, who is the ultimate rewarder.

But as things are, do what will not lead you to sin

[BEEJAXX]

It is hard when you feel taken advantage of.  I have been there and it actually hurts b/c you do not expect that from the church or the pastor.  Just pray and make the right choice for you to be able to be amicable with the church and in order.  If you are a struggling student I can see needing the pay to get to the church.  But everyone including churches want something for nothing and no one is really respected in their hometown.  If it is too taxing financially take the $650 gig and call it a day.  Visit your home church when you are home from college.  But if you just want to help out b/c the regular lady has cancer then help out when you can and take what they give you.  You won't get very far arguing for more money or even trying to talk it over because it sounds like it is a done deal in the mind of the pastor. Since he is handling you have to resolve yourself to the facts. The fact  is  that this church seems to want to get the cheapest but best option possible (something for nothing).  You asked the question, " why does the pastor get a raise but not the musician?"  The pastor gets a raise b/c he is a pastor the musician usually never is esteemed to the level of the pastor.  Musicians have to have thick skin.  I speak from experience.  I don't think it is about $200 it is deeper than that it is about respect and self validity.  You need to  know what you are worth and you need to know what you bring to the table the choice is up to you.  They have played games with you and your feelings seem hurt.  Deal with what is going on with you and either let it go and help them out despite their antics or cut your loses and move on.

[MrSparrow06]

This wouldn't be an issue with me. I hate that you've been put in this position but if I were you I would not deal with that church (home church or not). I have told churches not to bother calling me EVAAAAAAAAAA again. One church asked me to fill in for a musician that got into some suspended driver's license situation and they needed me to finish their conference. The Pastor told me the fee and I agreed. I was there on time, I played whatever they needed. When the conference was over I got an envelope and in that envelope was a check for half of the amount that I agreed to. When I asked the Pastor what happened he tells me that they'll pay me the other half later in the week. That was not what we agreed to. Even if he would have told me ahead of time I would have helped them out but the fact that he didn't extend that professional courtesy to me he's lost my services for good.

If you don't stand up for yourself then they'll take advantage of you time and time again...

Stand firm,

MrSparrow

[cbjr]

Find you another church. Time is money and the church have it and is not going to pay you for your services. There is other churchs out there that really need you. i bet you if the church cut the pastor pay check his attitude would completely change. People amazes me in Gods house. its amazing when you've work alll week and attend church and cant find peace there. They dont care about your degree, if they can pay you cheap , they got a bargain.

[betnich]

Find you another church. Time is money and the church have it and is not going to pay you for your services. There is other churchs out there that really need you. i bet you if the church cut the pastor pay check his attitude would completely change. People amazes me in Gods house. its amazing when you've work alll week and attend church and cant find peace there. They dont care about your degree, if they can pay you cheap , they got a bargain.

Sad but true - it's a crying shame when the church treats people worse than the secular world...

[nessalynn77]

I don't think it's as hurtful as you perceive it.  Maybe the church simply can't afford your rate.  That's actually what it sounds like to me... they'd prefer you, but can't afford what you're asking.  To me that's not their fault, or yours.  If you choose to go elsewhere, so be it (I know this was months ago).  But don't make it more than what it is.  If you're playing to earn money to travel home every weekend or for whatever, then you treat it like a job and go to the one that suits you best. 

[bill m]

Wait...Hold on!...you guys are getting paid?

[musallio]

Wait...Hold on!...you guys are getting paid?

hehehehe   Now don't go askin' for pay Bill...lol

[mickilovesmusic67]

I feel your pain and your frustration.  Years ago, not only was I the only musician playing, but when a guy from out-of-town joined I church, they more or less sat me down from playing and put me in the Finanace Office!  But when he did not show up for a conference, guess who they were looking for...I was still faithful to the calling.  Something stuck out to me in your post.  You said:  "I left, but I came back because I knew that was where I was suppose to be."  No matter who you are or what you do, unless you are in your set place, it is all for nothing.  If you take care of God's business, He will take care of yours.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.  Even now when I get discouraged I have to constantly remind myself that this gift that God gave me is for Him--for His glory!  I can't allow how people treat me--no matter how badly--effect how I use my gift.  Essentially in the end we have to give an account of what we have done, with the gift He has given us.  So be in place, on time with a smile on your face, ready to serve, until God says differently; and watch Him work on your behalf.  Much Love!

[lordluvr]

I don't think it's as hurtful as you perceive it.  Maybe the church simply can't afford your rate.  That's actually what it sounds like to me... they'd prefer you, but can't afford what you're asking.  To me that's not their fault, or yours.  If you choose to go elsewhere, so be it (I know this was months ago).  But don't make it more than what it is.  If you're playing to earn money to travel home every weekend or for whatever, then you treat it like a job and go to the one that suits you best.

I understand your perspective, and if things were handled correctly, I'd be inclined to agree.  However, things were not handled properly (assuming they really couldn't afford to pay).  A rate was agreed upon, and it was changed without notice or discussion.  That's just not right.  The OP was taken advantage of, even if it was unintentional.  That needed to be addressed.

[Sannysan1908]

I thought it was a Cardinal rule for musicians -- NEVER PLAY for the church where your membership lies --- to me that's where the UNFAIRNESS comes in! -- Somebody tell me different!

[sjonathan02]

I thought it was a Cardinal rule for musicians -- NEVER PLAY for the church where your membership lies --- to me that's where the UNFAIRNESS comes in! -- Somebody tell me different!

I don't understand this 'rule'. 

[under13]

I thought it was a Cardinal rule for musicians -- NEVER PLAY for the church where your membership lies --- to me that's where the UNFAIRNESS comes in! -- Somebody tell me different!

I don't necessarily agree, but I see where you're coming from. It's like going into business with family; when there's a problem, it's more personal.