Hello everyone.
I would like to share with you all something that I have noticed in the last two years about myself and I would like your opinion on it.
I love singing I have been singing on the choir every since I was about 2 years old. I was brought up in a family that loves going to church and singing.
Well I have always been a confident singer. I could sing in front of crowds and do well. Now that I am at my new church which ive been here for over 2 years. I lack confidence.. I am the choir director(interim) and I love encouraging others to sing and I think I am good at what I do. My love and passion for singing and praising and worshipping him comes natural. However at this church they liek to be very critical on me to the point that I almost think they are looking to find faults and they really stunt my praise.
For example I lead a song called jesus(shekinah glory) and we dont sing it very often only on communion sunday. Well we were at rehearsal and the m.o.m. stated that she wanted to sing the song and so the choir is like well that is more of a solo song and we dont know what to do when you are singing. I was in total dismal I was trying to explain to them that you get in the spirit and you listen to the words of the song. Well with them having the negative energy towards the song that I sung I couldnt get in the spirit and sing it. And it couldnt even come out my mouth right. Now note this I have a strong musical background and I teach them how to do these things...
What I determined was that same feeling came over me like it was before...these people make me loose my confidence....
And I really dont understand why... I just think that they are not appreciative to my voice... (I hope I am making sense) see they use to allow people to sing and god knows they did not need to lead but because they were faithful choir members they let them lead.
Well I was told by others that there was a llot of jealousy there and I really did not understand why..... And see they made me feel so uncomfortable and allot times I 2nd guess my self and dont even sing to my fullest.
And my most major concern is that the m.o.m. purposely puts me in a uncomfortable key and I dont know why..
The key is always at my bottom register and I dont know why she does it but she does so when I sing in the key that I normally sing in she says that I am jumping keys...
What I am saying is its like she is doing it to make me look like I cant sing I feel like you can do ugly things to others to make them seem like they cant sing...
My husband told me that he noticed the same thing that she is poutting me in the key she wants so that I want be able to sing at my best...he is the drummer so he sees it up close...
I hate to go on and on with this but the over all main idea of this post is how do you overcome when people make you doubt yourself when it comes to you delivering a song....
This is very emotional for me....
They dont doubt my directing skills.....
They seem to get mad cause people request songs I sing.....
I dont know how to overcome this help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
