Domestic Violence... Do you help or not?

[B_XALTED]

Do you get involved when you hear a domestic situation taking place? What is the first thought that you have? Just wondering. This is following a crazy incident that happened at my apartment complex the other night.

[under13]

I mind my business. I dont wanna get beat up too.

Really, the only thing I would do would be to call the police.

[B_XALTED]

I mind my business. I dont wanna get beat up too.

Really, the only thing I would do would be to call the police.

Friday, I woke up to my neighbor screaming someone help me!!! I got up and looked in my peep hole, and her door was opened, and all I could hear was her husband muttering some erratic kind of language. She screamed again for someone to help her, and then she yelled at him "THATS YOUR DAUGHTER STOP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!"

I go to call 911, and while I am dialing, she beats at my door. I can hear him getting more aggressive. I look out the peep hole, and she is in the hall way screaming for help with her 1 year old in her hand. I open my door and she begs me to take her baby.

Not knowing the situation, I thought quickly and grabbed my cell, wallet and keys, and took her baby and went to get in my car. The police were showing up by then. The thing was he had some kind of breakdown, and attacked and choked his 5 year old. I dont know all the details, but I do know that there was a gun in the house as well.


I understand that people want to mind their own, but sometimes I think that we need to step out on that faith that we claim to have, and when we see another brother or sister in Christ in trouble like that, we need to try and help. i am not saying to be stupid at all... But think of this, I am surrounded by other apartments, and ALL are MEN. No one else ca,e out of their house. They didnt know what she was screaming for...

The fact that I live across the hall from her, played a major role. Someone called the police, it wasnt me or her. He broke her phone when she tried to call. When I called the call had already been made. So someone felt that their good deed for the day was that they called and that was it. Withouut knowing what else was going on.

I just couldnt bare to imagine if I didnt take her young daughter for her while she tried to get her husband under control. o have never seen what people mean by "demon possessed" but I saw it that morning. Its scary, but I know that it was nothing but God in that situation, because all of the "What if's..." that could have been a factor were not factors at all. 

[under13]

If she knocked on my door, then I would let her in, but thats it. I'm not confronting a crazy dude with a gun. btjm. *shrug*

[B_XALTED]

If she knocked on my door, then I would let her in, but thats it. I'm not confronting a crazy dude with a gun. btjm. *shrug*

I dont think I said I confronted anyone. But that was the situation... I said dont be stupid about it. That would be stupid, unless you had some heat too.

[JustBritt]

One of my roomates was ggoing through that. That's a rough situation to deal with especially when it's happening right in front of you. Me and my other roomates  really didnt know what to do. She didnt want us to tell because he would have went to jail because her mom put out a restraining order against him. And he was on probation. Annyways if we did tell, we were gonna be kicked out the program. Cause we werent allowed to let outside people stay over and he was smoking weed. We did eventually say something to her though.

[lordluvr]

I have, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat if it means I can help a defenseless woman or child keep from being harmed physically and emotionally.

[B3Wannabe]

WWJD?

This is another one of those things that I feel strongly about. We claim to have the power of the Almighty God behind us, but when there are injustices around us, we cower. In this case, the person is screaming for help, to not help them is wrong. Jesus said that himself. When she is crying for help, that's just like Jesus himself saying come help me. You might as well just deny Christ, because when it's your turn, he'll look at you and say, Who are you? BTJM.

With that said, I know that I don't want anything to happen to me or my family, but I have to believe that if I'm doing the right thing, he'll protect me. Fear is the enemy here.

[cordney]

About 6yrs ago, my friend decided to intervene when a female was getting beat badly by some guy in the club.  He pulls the guy off of the female, only to have that dude friends surround him.  I seperated him and the group of guys...we decided to leave, when we walked outside the club...they were waiting and we got the brakes beat off of us.  It wasn't a pretty sight! 

He said, "I will never try to intervene again" and I concur.

[phbrown]

I don't like to get involved because you never know the whole story. My basic guidelines is this.

If they are arguing but no actual physical violence is taking place then I just watch the situation.
If someone just gets hit once then I just continue to watch
If someone is clearly being stomped into the ground then I will call the police and intervene.
If someone yells fire or help or there is blood involved then I will call the police and intervene.


This remind me of what happened a few days ago....


Sunday afternoon I was on my way home and as I was driving the street I see a car with its trunk open and there is a man that appears to have his forearm across a woman's neck and it looks like he is pushing her into the trunk of the car. So stop in the middle of a busy road which is when they notice
me and both just start laughing and he lets her go. Then I continue on my way home.

I know it isn't not the same situation as the OP but yeah I will intervene.

[LaylaMonroe]

I can't remember ever being in a position like that (if I was, I can't remember it right now as I type). But once when I first got to Detroit I was heading down Van Wyck one late night after work... it was probably about 10 or 11:00p. I noticed that the car in front of me kept swerving. When we got to a red light, I could see inside and noticed that the male driver was beating the crap out of his female passenger. I mean he was going for broke... beating her like she was a dude.  Then, the door opened and it appeared he was trying to push her out or something.  When the light turned green, he made a left, and I followed him dialing 9-1-1. At some point, he realized I was following him and he started driving really fast through some very residential streets, making all kinds of turns, in and out, down and around, toward dead ends and back roads. It was really dark and I would probably have been even MORE scared if I had stopped to think about it, but at the time, the only thing that scared me was my inability to drive that fast in an unfamiliar area. The operator kept asking me what direction I was going in, what neighborhood I was in, what street I was on and all that... and I couldn't answer any of her questions. She told me to pull over and stop following, but I told her I didn't see the police yet and I thought he was going to kill her.  Plus at that point, I was lost so without the police, I'd probably never find my way home. LOL

Anyway, I ended up losing him, never did see the police (if they ever even bothered to come), and I still find myself wondering about that lady to this day. I prayed intensely for her that night and for a long time thereafter. I believe she got out of that relationship because I remember when the burden to pray for her lightened up.

I would love to say that I would always help, but I'm not really positive. I think it depends on the circumstances and whether I have time to think.

WWJD?

This is another one of those things that I feel strongly about. We claim to have the power of the Almighty God behind us, but when there are injustices around us, we cower. In this case, the person is screaming for help, to not help them is wrong. Jesus said that himself. When she is crying for help, that's just like Jesus himself saying come help me. You might as well just deny Christ, because when it's your turn, he'll look at you and say, Who are you? BTJM.

With that said, I know that I don't want anything to happen to me or my family, but I have to believe that if I'm doing the right thing, he'll protect me. Fear is the enemy here.

Wow. I love the way you said that.

[B3Wannabe]

Wow. I love the way you said that.

Matt 25:31-46

Unless I'm reading it wrong....but anyway.

[LaylaMonroe]

Matt 25:31-46

Unless I'm reading it wrong....but anyway.

Yeah, I knew exactly what scripture you were referring to because I wrote a one-pager on it for our Ordination Journal back in 08. I just like the way you said it. 

[nessalynn77]

The story that still bothers me to this day is the one about the young lady that was snatched from her house, leaving her young children alone.  The dude snatched her right off the porch, tied her up, and stuffed her in the back of his car.  The thing that gets me, is another driver saw her looking desperate and frantic through a back window and called 911.  The car turned and the driver didn't follow, I think they were instructed not to... the driver had the wrong color and make of the car, so the police were searching for the wrong vehicle during a time when time was so precious... they found her body the next day...

That tears me up, because if just one of those things that went wrong had gone right, she would've been at home with her kids instead of in the morgue.  I think the story said she got her hands on her cell and tried to make calls... can you imagine fighting so hard, and just missing getting rescued?  Crazy.

[LaylaMonroe]

Dang Nessa, that story just tore me up.

Ugh. So sad. So tragic.

[Fenix]

If it is verbal violence, i stay well away. If it is physical stuff, i get involved.

My mom had to save our neighbor from his wife once. The woman had turned that dude into a blithering buffoon. Poor guy.

[Gibby]

If it is verbal violence, i stay well away. If it is physical stuff, i get involved.

Well said.

[MissMusic04]

With just a man and woman, I will call 911 in a heartbeat. I've done it before. Definitely not stepping in and I won't let them see me on the phone. If he'll beat her, he'll beat me and I can't have that. I'll have to make some phone calls and have Uncle Joe and nem handle bizness.

If it's a man I know, I will intervene. I saw a really close friend of mine about to hit his girl cause he busted her cheating with his boy. Like she was BUSTED. CAUGHT, in the act. I was able to calm him down, though.

If there is a child near/involved, I will try my hardest to find a way to get them away, while calling 911.

[Fenix]

I was able to calm him down, though.

Now how exactly did you do that? What did you say?

[MissMusic04]

Now how exactly did you do that? What did you say?

It wasn't easy! He was like a full pot of boiling water! I had to talk fast. I told him she wasn't worth going to jail over. I started naming people who would be really hurt if he went to jail. His mother(he's her oldest son) his little brother, his little sister, his pastor. I said some other things too. He ended up just walking away, punching walls and kicking cars.  He was really hurt. He always gives 100% in a relationship. He was a flowers, candles, massage your feet kinda guy.