Current Status Thread!

[under13]

I interviewed a guy today and it took quite a turn. I feel so heavy laden.

He is a former pastor with an MDiv, pastored for 10 years and now considers himself agnostic/atheist. In short, he studied and found that he had more questions than his faith could cover.

The interview began with a discussion of his child custody case. He currently pays $1950 a month in child support for his son, which DNA proved is not his biological child. He learned this 4 years ago. Hired two attorneys and lost his first case, then lost the appeal. Has been paying $1950/mo for 8 years, and will continue until the child turns 18 or finishes college. He then went to court to fight for joint custody and they ruled that since he isn't the biological parent, he has no legal right to the child.

I just feel so powerless.

wow

Just like there is white privilege, there is also female privilege when it comes to certain things. There is way too much money being made off of child support cases and enforcement for them to even think about changing the laws.

[LaylaMonroe]

^^^^ agreed

CS: Why am I still up, Jesus?

[CJKeyboardPlaya]

CS: awakened out of my sleep... due to the fact of having a hard time to breathe. I worked pretty hard yesterday and couldnt shake the dust i inhaled while tossing hay (20 bales) for delivery .  SN= for those who dont know i work for Lowes ,cant really tell you what dept. cuz im put everywhere... but no where to be FT... ANYWAY... I do have a slight case of asthma, but this case is severe. Dont really have meds or inhaler to control it or even calm it down and i do have a sense of HIGH PRIDE if you may call it. So long story short... Im up again tryin to take these steroids my daughter took bout two yrs ago called "Budesonide" . its only a short fix... Im sure God will heal me to become 100%. Im off to work in 2hrs and plan to have a LONG day on the road... PLZ lift a brutha up in prayer... I wood hate to have an asthma attack out in the middle of no where ....







**for those who must know why i havnt gone to hospital...drop me a PM**

[LaylaMonroe]

Wow CJ. I hope you feel better.

[lordluvr]

CS: awakened out of my sleep... due to the fact of having a hard time to breathe. I worked pretty hard yesterday and couldnt shake the dust i inhaled while tossing hay (20 bales) for delivery .  SN= for those who dont know i work for Lowes ,cant really tell you what dept. cuz im put everywhere... but no where to be FT... ANYWAY... I do have a slight case of asthma, but this case is severe. Dont really have meds or inhaler to control it or even calm it down and i do have a sense of HIGH PRIDE if you may call it. So long story short... Im up again tryin to take these steroids my daughter took bout two yrs ago called "Budesonide" . its only a short fix... Im sure God will heal me to become 100%. Im off to work in 2hrs and plan to have a LONG day on the road... PLZ lift a brutha up in prayer... I wood hate to have an asthma attack out in the middle of no where ....







**for those who must know why i havnt gone to hospital...drop me a PM**

Hey bro, consider getting one of those masks to help reduce the amount of dust you inhale.

[Arkhams Finest]

CS: awakened out of my sleep... due to the fact of having a hard time to breathe. I worked pretty hard yesterday and couldnt shake the dust i inhaled while tossing hay (20 bales) for delivery .  SN= for those who dont know i work for Lowes ,cant really tell you what dept. cuz im put everywhere... but no where to be FT... ANYWAY... I do have a slight case of asthma, but this case is severe. Dont really have meds or inhaler to control it or even calm it down and i do have a sense of HIGH PRIDE if you may call it. So long story short... Im up again tryin to take these steroids my daughter took bout two yrs ago called "Budesonide" . its only a short fix... Im sure God will heal me to become 100%. Im off to work in 2hrs and plan to have a LONG day on the road... PLZ lift a brutha up in prayer... I wood hate to have an asthma attack out in the middle of no where ....







**for those who must know why i havnt gone to hospital...drop me a PM**

I have asthma too.  You need an inhaler.

You need to make that happen.  My asthma isn't bad either.  Certain things set it off, but the only time I really need my inhaler is when I get sick. 

I'm going to pray for your healing (right now), but you have to do your part and take care of yourself bro. 

[sjonathan02]

I interviewed a guy today and it took quite a turn. I feel so heavy laden.

He is a former pastor with an MDiv, pastored for 10 years and now considers himself agnostic/atheist. In short, he studied and found that he had more questions than his faith could cover.

The interview began with a discussion of his child custody case. He currently pays $1950 a month in child support for his son, which DNA proved is not his biological child. He learned this 4 years ago. Hired two attorneys and lost his first case, then lost the appeal. Has been paying $1950/mo for 8 years, and will continue until the child turns 18 or finishes college. He then went to court to fight for joint custody and they ruled that since he isn't the biological parent, he has no legal right to the child.

What?

[Arkhams Finest]

What?

That's what I said.

He's legally obligated to pay for the child that isn't his, yet has no parental rights?  He's getting fleeced and no one can help him.

[sjonathan02]

That's what I said.

He's legally obligated to pay for the child that isn't his, yet has no parental rights?  He's getting fleeced and no one can help him.

Exactly. Someone's missing something somewhere. 

[LaylaMonroe]

His is not the first story like that, but he is the first person I've ever met personally to experience this. Very common in the Commonwealth of Virginia (where he was married). If you google fathers' rights stories you'll find so many like his. It's just really sad.

[LaylaMonroe]

Oh and to be clear, the reason he was held accountable for the child support is that the child was conceived during the course of the marriage, which legally makes him the father and financially responsible (but apparently not father enough to participate in raising the child).

[lordluvr]

LGM has been super dead lately.  What gives?

[Arkhams Finest]

Oh and to be clear, the reason he was held accountable for the child support is that the child was conceived during the course of the marriage, which legally makes him the father and financially responsible (but apparently not father enough to participate in raising the child).

Ah, another nice little tidbit.  smh

[sjonathan02]

Oh and to be clear, the reason he was held accountable for the child support is that the child was conceived during the course of the marriage, which legally makes him the father and financially responsible (but apparently not father enough to participate in raising the child).

But, it's not his.  So, Va. is saying, 'Hey dude, too bad about your wife having an affair (or whatever) but you've got to foot the bill'? 


*note to self* Do no have a renewing of vows ceremony in Va. 

[under13]

It's like now we have to write out a pros and cons list when it comes to getting married.

[LaylaMonroe]

U13, pros and cons lists are good. I use them for every little thing (even deciding which clothes to pack). But in this case, what's most important is knowing the laws of the state where you marry and where you reside. The sad thing Ian hat this guy is from another state and only married in Va for the convenience of the family. If he had gotten married in his home state, he would have an additional $1950 in his pocket every month.

Oh and he added that her parents are pastors, as are her uncles and grandparents. She comes from an entire family of church folks.

[LaylaMonroe]

And yeah Jonathan, that is exactly what Virginia is saying. Very sad (and antiquated).

[under13]

U13, pros and cons lists are good. I use them for every little thing (even deciding which clothes to pack). But in this case, what's most important is knowing the laws of the state where you marry and where you reside. The sad thing Ian hat this guy is from another state and only married in Va for the convenience of the family. If he had gotten married in his home state, he would have an additional $1950 in his pocket every month.

Oh and he added that her parents are pastors, as are her uncles and grandparents. She comes from an entire family of church folks.

I'm in NY and the law seems to be the same. It's just like what's the point, when your wife can just up and decide she doesn't want to be with you anymore, and then a huge fraction of your income is gone though child support, even if she cheated and the child is not yours.

 It's not as if the child support actually helps the child. Even if the mother does use the money to support them, it's not like the child says "it's ok that my father is no longer here because his monthly payment makes up for it".

And I don't see what them being church folks have to do with it. Church folks and pastors can be just as grimey as anybody else. I have no higher expectations from them or anybody else.

[blyempowered]

LGM has been super dead lately.  What gives?

1) Working 8-5 and it seems like the kids are acting worse as we're near the end (Friday is the last day of summer camp). Usually I'm able to check in here during work but again some of the kids are acting really bad so my attention can't really be split.

2) At night I'm either very tired or have to do too many things....smh!

[LaylaMonroe]

I believe that believers (not necessarily church folks, but saved and committed believers) are held to a higher standard. Whether that plays out or not, I do believe that that's how it SHOULD be.

There is no doubt in my mind that as difficult as it might be to give up an extra $2000 a month, especially if I know I won't get a nickel from the biological father, I would not hesitate to take steps to undo that court order. My morals and integrity would even cause me to try to pay back whatever money I had received. Well wait, actually, if I knew from jump that this wasn't my husband's child, I wouldn't even allow him to pay child support in the first place so there would be no need to return any money. That's just not right and I strongly believe that you WILL pay for your wrong. Most times, the price is much higher than the deed's worth, so I'm not trying to pay $4000 for some $2000 trickery.

But yeah, as much as I don't believe in prenups and all that, I do have to say that if I were a man, no matter how much I loved her and no matter how saved she is and how good a family she comes from, I would be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal cautious before tying the knot and making babies. No matter how good a person is, there's no telling what people might do when they are hurt or angry or bitter or in need.