I hope I am not being a wimp by all of this about telling you my problems.
Actually, what u are is quite the opposite. It takes a strong man to ask for help with problems he is struggling with. You are not supposed to handle it alone, u are supposed to seek support. Sometimes, getting it out of your system will give u the relief u looking for.
I know myself I usually hold things in until it manifests itself in a very negative manner. I'm learning to open up more and tell people what's going on wit me. I haven't quite gotten to the stage where I can cry outloud, LOL, but one day I may get there.
Also,
some most times in a ministry, God has to "clean house". Meaning, he has to get some people out da way in order for the right people to come in. So, just think of this as spiritual house cleaning. It's rought at first cuz it's gonna feel empty, but just hang in there and u will see things come together the way God wants it, not necessarily the way you want it. I'm praying 4 u my brother!!!