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Author Topic: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married  (Read 7075 times)

Offline funkStrat_97

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #60 on: February 07, 2008, 12:42:46 PM »
So is sexual sin any worse than any of the other sins we commit???



If you value your spouse; FLEE from it.  If your walk with God means anything to you; FLEE from it.  It's poison.  It takes God's creaton and perverts it and in the end, you'll be the one to suffer.  I remember reading an article a while ago about how we are living in a porn driven society;  what was once taboo is now out in the open.  See the following quote:

Quote
The Effects of Visual Porn on Relationships

“Attraction is not all hard-wired. What's attractive to you also depends on your comparison standards. [...] To men who have recently been gazing at centerfolds, average women - or even their own wives - seem less attractive (Kenrick & others, 1989). Viewing pornographic films simulating passionate sex similarly decreases satisfaction with one's own partner (Zillmann, 1989). Being sexually aroused may temporarily make a person of the other sex seem more attractive. But the lingering effect of exposure to perfect "10s,", or of unrealistic sexual depictions, is to make one's own partner seem less appealing - more like a "6" than a "8." It works the same way with our self-perceptions. After viewing a superattractive person of the same sex, people feel less attractive than after viewing a homely person (Brown & others, 1992; Thornton & Moore, 1993).”
"Social Psychology" by David Myers, p441
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Offline LEYLAH

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #61 on: February 07, 2008, 12:45:58 PM »
I wonder who killed Jimmy's daughter in MYSTIC RIVER?
**Psalm 118:24**  -^ GO INDY-COLTS ^-

Offline georgiagurl

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #62 on: February 07, 2008, 12:47:40 PM »
I wonder who killed Jimmy's daughter in MYSTIC RIVER?
?/?
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Offline pastors4jesus3

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #63 on: February 07, 2008, 12:54:53 PM »
If you value your spouse; FLEE from it.  If your walk with God means anything to you; FLEE from it.  It's poison.  It takes God's creaton and perverts it and in the end, you'll be the one to suffer.  I remember reading an article a while ago about how we are living in a porn driven society;  what was once taboo is now out in the open.  See the following quote:

This is a very good perspective brother funkStrat.
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Offline sjonathan02

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #64 on: February 07, 2008, 12:58:35 PM »
?/?

Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
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Offline funkStrat_97

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #65 on: February 07, 2008, 12:59:53 PM »
Here is a link (below) to The Marriage Bed that also  highlights the dangers of porn.  And many of us can attest that these things are true to one degree or another because I'm willing to bet that a lot of us (guys especially) have viewed porn in one form or another....and liked it.  So porn is not boring.  These porducers know how to hook it up to make it appear to be better than the real thing.

WHY PORN IS A PROBLEM
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Offline Big T.

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #66 on: February 07, 2008, 01:00:18 PM »
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
;)
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Offline pastors4jesus3

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #67 on: February 07, 2008, 01:02:04 PM »
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
:D
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Offline LEYLAH

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #68 on: February 07, 2008, 01:02:28 PM »
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\


No, I was watching the movie MYSTIC RIVER last night and missed the ending... I wondered who was the KILLER...
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Offline themidiroom

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #69 on: February 07, 2008, 01:04:13 PM »
Just smile and nod; it's what we ALL do. Or, should. :-\
I don't know what the word ALL means.  Grammar Wiz can you please help me?   ;D
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Offline chevonee

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #70 on: February 07, 2008, 01:07:37 PM »
Here is a link (below) to The Marriage Bed that also  highlights the dangers of porn.  And many of us can attest that these things are true to one degree or another because I'm willing to bet that a lot of us (guys especially) have viewed porn in one form or another....and liked it.  So porn is not boring.  These porducers know how to hook it up to make it appear to be better than the real thing.

WHY PORN IS A PROBLEM

You know this is a really scary thing funkStrat...WoW!!! :o :o :o :o
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Offline sjonathan02

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #71 on: February 07, 2008, 01:23:16 PM »

No, I was watching the movie MYSTIC RIVER last night and missed the ending... I wondered who was the KILLER...


This is me:
Despite our communication technology, no invention is as effective as the sound of the human voice.

Offline chevonee

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #72 on: February 07, 2008, 01:33:48 PM »
Would anyone like to have a glass of.......................;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D



































Strike while the iron is hot!

Offline godsbassman2000

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #73 on: February 07, 2008, 05:09:35 PM »
Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question.

If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do?
I would need to find out what is going on with her.

If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?
No. It's not like I've never viewed porn or had ungodly thoughts myself.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness (from God and my wife) for repeat offenses.

He/She who is without sin, cast the first stone!


*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*
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Offline georgiagurl

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #74 on: February 07, 2008, 09:52:24 PM »
If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do?
I would need to find out what is going on with her.

If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happend before?
No. It's not like I've never viewed porn or had ungodly thoughts myself.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness (from God and my wife) for repeat offenses.

He/She who is without sin, cast the first stone!

This is good godsbassman.
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Offline LEYLAH

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #75 on: February 07, 2008, 10:25:43 PM »
I am still wondering who is the KILLER in that movie!!  :-\     :-\       :-\
**Psalm 118:24**  -^ GO INDY-COLTS ^-

Offline w42879

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #76 on: February 07, 2008, 10:35:19 PM »
Here is a link (below) to The Marriage Bed that also  highlights the dangers of porn.  And many of us can attest that these things are true to one degree or another because I'm willing to bet that a lot of us (guys especially) have viewed porn in one form or another....and liked it.  So porn is not boring.  These porducers know how to hook it up to make it appear to be better than the real thing.

WHY PORN IS A PROBLEM

People are more content to sweep things like this under the carpet. Why is it that there are almost more divorces among saved people than sinners? Because no one has the guts to admit that temptation does not die once you get saved. Lots of people have this ignorant disposition that those feelings die.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good

Offline axeman1

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #77 on: February 07, 2008, 11:22:20 PM »
That is the main concern. The guy wants to know should he stay in this relationship because this makes the second time that an incident such as this has happend...but they have 3 kids who are caught in the middle of this. I just wish I knew what to say to help. :'(

Yeah Vet you know him...really well.. :o :o I wish I could help....he's such a sweet guy, who works hard to support his family...but this is what happend again. What do I say to help?

Not tryin' to butt in and I hope I'm not out of line with this B-u-u-t......,  maybe It's best if you didn't say anything.  It seems to me that you could find yourself in a heap of trouble with whatever advice you give.  This is a very personal matter and something that this man should work out between himself, his wife, maybe a spiritual counselor, and God himself.  The last thing a man should do is ask for another woman's advice on what to do about his marital problems.  There's no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, but this good can easily be evil spoken of.  Of course I have no idea what your acquaintance is with the guy,  he could be your brother for all I know, but when any woman speaking to another woman about the marital problems of a mutual male acquaintance, and speaks of what a sweet and hard working guy he is, you know how that would be interpreted by someone with an axe to grind.  All I'm saying is be careful.
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Offline georgiagurl

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #78 on: February 08, 2008, 02:17:36 AM »
Not tryin' to butt in and I hope I'm not out of line with this B-u-u-t......,  maybe It's best if you didn't say anything.  It seems to me that you could find yourself in a heap of trouble with whatever advice you give.  This is a very personal matter and something that this man should work out between himself, his wife, maybe a spiritual counselor, and God himself.  The last thing a man should do is ask for another woman's advice on what to do about his marital problems.  There's no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, but this good can easily be evil spoken of.  Of course I have no idea what your acquaintance is with the guy,  he could be your brother for all I know, but when any woman speaking to another woman about the marital problems of a mutual male acquaintance, and speaks of what a sweet and hard working guy he is, you know how that would be interpreted by someone with an axe to grind.  All I'm saying is be careful.
I know whut u sayin but this guy some kin to my cousin(chevonee). Everybody thank of my cuz as a counselor cause she have ability to listen and be da peace maker. She git to close sometime but I trust that Chevonne gone do whut right in da sight of God and not man. Thank u for your help. Be blessed
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Offline chevonee

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Re: A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married
« Reply #79 on: February 08, 2008, 02:37:35 AM »
Not tryin' to butt in and I hope I'm not out of line with this B-u-u-t......,  maybe It's best if you didn't say anything.  It seems to me that you could find yourself in a heap of trouble with whatever advice you give.  This is a very personal matter and something that this man should work out between himself, his wife, maybe a spiritual counselor, and God himself.  The last thing a man should do is ask for another woman's advice on what to do about his marital problems.  There's no doubt in my mind that you have good intentions, but this good can easily be evil spoken of.  Of course I have no idea what your acquaintance is with the guy,  he could be your brother for all I know, but when any woman speaking to another woman about the marital problems of a mutual male acquaintance, and speaks of what a sweet and hard working guy he is, you know how that would be interpreted by someone with an axe to grind.  All I'm saying is be careful.
I know what you mean and you're absolutely right...in this case he is a very very close relative. Why do people come to me for help in these situations...I have no idea. But either way, I believe in doing things God's way. He spilled his guts and me being me, I just had to try to help. I know and understand that marriage is sacred and I treat his wife the way I would want to be treated. So yes I have washed my hands of it because I have a marriage of my own to keep in check. Thanks for your help my friend! ;)


This thread has opened my eyes to a very real issue that is breaking up marriages every single day. You guys have really helped me with your testimonies and advice... Thank God for LGM!! Fa' real
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