I haven't been playing as long as you (18y), but what I can say is that trends in music is a way of life. There is no way around this. For example, you mentioned some time ago that you can tell a specific era based on how the drums are tuned. I'm certain that there were a lot of drummers that did not care for the sound of the drums being muffled to the high heavens, but that was a sound that the producer required. The same thing can be applied to an employment venture that you're seeking to attain. If there are requirements that are needed to be considered for employment, you can't say "Well, I'm going to be me and if they don't like it, oh well". No - you're going to acquire the knowledge and skills that the potential employer is looking for so that they will consider you as a strong candidate for the position that you've applied for.
What's wrong with conforming to what the producer/band leader/etc., wants? You've already been playing long enough to have an identity in your playing. My inference from your statement of
Basically in my area, "chops" have pretty much taken over drumming as it pertains to live playing. I've been overlooked and even replaced in some situations because that is not my style.
and
Today's drumming to me has become something that I do not wish to conform to.
indicates that you do not wish to be a musical chameleon. Greats like Vinnie Colaiuta, Dennis Chambers, Billy Cobham, Dave Weckl, etc. has shown their willingness to become a chameleon within their musical landscape. To further explain my example, look at Vinnie Colaiuta. We are all aware of his musical prowess on the drumset when it comes to doing mind boggling fills. Not every musical opportunity/gig that he's on requires him to play that way. Those musical opportunities are those times in which the producer wants a deep pocket from the drummer. Let's just assume that he doesn't want to play pocket - he wants to apply some crazy bust 'yo brain type of fills, but he realizes that he was called by the producer to recreate a specific sound that he is looking for. The key word here is
required. 'Chops' doesn't define you as a player (your pocket does); you're only doing what's needed to fill the requirements. The same thing applies for your situation. If you want to get called, you should - no
need to be a musical
chameleon. I hope that you don't feel like you're selling out, because you're not. You're just moving along with the trend. It's like today's drummers are a flowing river (performing the necessary 'chops' that is required for the musical opportunity/gig), and you're being the stale, stagnant puddle of water (refusing to perform the necessary 'chops' that is required to be considered for the musical opportunity/gig). If you don't know how to perform those crazy chops, learn them. Go to the woodshed and get your practice on. If you do know how to perform those crazy chops, show them off - the worst that can happen is that you'd be considered/hired for those musical opportunities/gig. Isn't that what you want?
If it's that bad, do your own 'detoxification' and put together your own band to get together to jam out on weekends. This way, you all can get together and perform playing that will require a deep pocket and no crazy fills/'chops'. If you don't have the passion for it (in general), I also agree with dude-on-drums: move on. Wouldn't you feel better playing music that you cannot be honest with, it won't be worth playing or listening to. I'm sure that you'd agree.
Bottom line: It's either sink (refuse to play the required 'chops'), swim (play the required 'chops' to get the musical opportunities/gigs) or walk away (quit and pursue other musical ventures), man. The choice is up to you - only you know what you want to do.