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Author Topic: Drama Kings and Queens  (Read 2589 times)

Offline BBoy

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #40 on: September 21, 2007, 11:08:19 PM »
I understand both sides of the situation, beleive me. That is why he need and have been sent the Holy Ghost, so we know when to move and when not to move.

Listen carefully. Many times people miss their destiny by allowing themselves to be distracted by people who actually do not want to be out their situation. There are a lot of people who are hungering and thirting to be whole, but they don't know what to do or how to go about it. I can't have my time and energy drained (yes, I said my time and energy drained) by those who actually just want someone to wallow with them.

Beleive me, they have four or five others who they are on the phone with when they let you off the line.

The devil is very wiley, folks. Very wiley. Don't think for a minute that the enemy doesn't know where you will be the most effective, where you will make the most impact and where you will be the most blessed. If he knows he can distract you with what looks like ministry but isn't, he will tie you up for years.

I would have to respectfully disagree with some of the statements. When Jesus came to the man at the pool, He asked an unusual question. He asked, "Do you want to made whole?"

Isn't that a strange question to ask someone who, the Bible says, had been a long time in that condition?

Would we think that everyone who is in a bad situation would want to be out of that situation?

But they don't. For a lot of reasons.

Being whole would be losing half their identity for a lot of people. They make friends and get into relationships based on their drama. If they were healed from theri drama, they would have to grow up, take responsibility for their lives and for the choices they made, and move on.

Being whole would mean forgiving the offenders, and some don't want that. They want to be able to point to their mistakes and misteps and say, "It is your fault! Your fault I am like this!" Their drama and dysfunction punishes those who misued them (or at least that is what they think. Usually the person who misued them isn't paying them any mind at all . . . . or worse, is thoroughly enjoying their pain)

Most of all, being whole would take away all excuses for not being who they know they could be. As long as people are broken, they say, "You can't expect me to be a mature, responsible person. Look at how I am hurting!"

We are blessed by the journey of Abraham. But remember GOD called him away from his family and friends. GOD said "Go, and I will bless you, and you will be a blessing." Today, we would have to say Abraham was too deep, should be sharing with his own family and friends. But that isn't what GOD told him to do. 

Yes, there is definitely a time to cry with those who are crying. But I am also interested in whether or not they ever want to stop crying. I am not helping them by just going through their Kleenex with them year after year. I want to introduce them to the ONE Who heals their broken heart.

But no one can be healed (and stay that way) unless they want to be.

Be Blessed, everyone
Joshua 1: 7, 8

Offline BBoy

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #41 on: September 21, 2007, 11:27:46 PM »
By the way, as a footnote . . . . there is something called being an enabler.

An enabler is someone who, regardless of their intent to help, actually plays a role in a situation that allows the person to be more comfortable in their situation.

We have to know when we are helping, and when we are actually making a terrible situation worse. We may mean well, but actually it is more love to tell a person, "It is up to you now."

Have you ever noticed those people don't accept help for those who could really help them? Isn't that interesting? When you really want out of something, you go to the person who can help you out, not the person who is in the same boat as you are.

One of the ministries I really respect has even confronted people on their own staff about that. They love them, worked with them and alongside them. They know people come from some terrible backgrounds. But when it is time to confront the situations in their lives, they have told them, "Either you deal with this issue, or you cannot stay with this ministry anymore. It is time to deal with this. It is time."

We might think it is a bit harsh, but if we think it is harsh, I wonder what we would say to Paul's instructions to Corinth? Paul said if a beleiver is in sin, don't even EAT A MEAL WITH THEM!  :o

Now the context of that is not someone who is hurting, someone who needs help. The context is someone who is in a sin, has been ministered to, prayed for, and is just staying in their mess. Paul said, "Don't even eat a meal with them."

It may seem harsh, but Paul knew that there is a certain amount of fellowship that is actually condoning the sin. Therefore, allowing the person to think it is okay.
Joshua 1: 7, 8

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #42 on: September 22, 2007, 12:22:00 AM »
It wasn't what you said at first but the way it came across. I don't support enabling either.

Offline BBoy

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #43 on: September 22, 2007, 10:43:54 AM »
I see.

The word "drama" to me invokes "acting a role, participating in a situation, staging a scene." Many times it is for attention.

When we call for the curtain to come down and dismiss the audience, we can get down to the real business of why they are doing what they are doing, and what the real need is.

But if a person continues to act, it is many times almost impossible to help them. They have to want help, even if it means no more attention and dealing with what the real issues are.

Be Blessed, everyone



 
Joshua 1: 7, 8

Offline nessalynn77

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #44 on: September 22, 2007, 11:18:59 AM »
I see.

The word "drama" to me invokes "acting a role, participating in a situation, staging a scene." Many times it is for attention.

When we call for the curtain to come down and dismiss the audience, we can get down to the real business of why they are doing what they are doing, and what the real need is.

But if a person continues to act, it is many times almost impossible to help them. They have to want help, even if it means no more attention and dealing with what the real issues are.

Be Blessed, everyone



 
I agree.  When someone is acting out, child or adult, I have difficulty providing the expected response.  I feel like if I respond how they want me to, then they'll continue that behavior to get that response. 

changedman

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #45 on: September 22, 2007, 12:05:51 PM »
Ok.

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #46 on: September 23, 2007, 08:43:53 AM »
I agree.  When someone is acting out, child or adult, I have difficulty providing the expected response.  I feel like if I respond how they want me to, then they'll continue that behavior to get that response. 


Exactly. I walk away and tell them, 'Let me know when you're ready to deal with whatever it is that's REALLY bothering you."

The interesting thing is if they DON'T learn how to deal, AS a child, then they won't have that skill developed when become an adult. :-\
Despite our communication technology, no invention is as effective as the sound of the human voice.

Offline BBoy

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #47 on: September 23, 2007, 06:19:11 PM »
And we need not worry, there will always be people whom, out of either ignorance or whatever reason, will be more than ready to indulge people in their drama and call it a ministry.

Don't blame yourself when you know inside your spirit it is time to call the curtain down on drama. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it means that you have done all you can for them and the next step is theirs . . . . and you love them too much to help them stay in bondage.

Don't feel like you are abandonning them, either. When people are in drama, you aren't the only spectator . . . . TRUST! They may act like you are, and for a long time you may have been the main one they perform for.

But believe me, they have others sitting in the audience too. On the phone. Meeting them secretly.

Even on LGM.

I have been amazed at the drama here. Just like actors change costumes, LGM drama kings and queens just change their usernames.

Just like actors travel around and play different theatres, church drama kings and queens play different churches.



Joshua 1: 7, 8

Offline 4hisglory

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #48 on: September 25, 2007, 09:49:09 AM »
Even on LGM.

I have been amazed at the drama here. Just like actors change costumes, LGM drama kings and queens just change their usernames.

A-men :)
:)

changedman

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Re: Drama Kings and Queens
« Reply #49 on: September 25, 2007, 11:54:01 AM »
I hear words don't taste as good as chicken and i'm praying for that reason that none of you have to eat yours.
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