Drama Kings and Queens

[sjonathan02]

Dude, I didn't know you had all that in you.  You're up in here preaching like LL or BB... or SisCM or SB... lol.  WOW.  I hope people in your life recognize the greatness and depth in you, and don't just dismiss you without hearing what you're saying.  What you just said can really help some folks out, if they're listening.  And if no one else gets it, I did, and it helped me.

It all comes down to this:
There's definitely too much talking going on in the body, even among the "holy," and if no one else will say "Amen," I WILL.

COSIGN!!!!!!!!!!

And THIS:
is going on my bulletin board.

Sis. Helen sounds like someone I know of.

W.I.T.N.H.????

[LaylaMonroe]

W.I.T.N.H.????

LOL!!!  Okay, I did that partially just to bug LT because he got somebody (???) in another thread about doing the same thing.

But the other reason I did it is that I think the proper way just sounds wayyyy too uppity for my taste. Plus, grammar experts have been saying for nearly ten years now that its ok, in conversational English, to end a sentence in a prep in some cases (such as the one I did).

 

[sjonathan02]

LOL!!!  Okay, I did that partially just to bug LT because he got somebody (???) in another thread about doing the same thing.

But the other reason I did it is that I think the proper way just sounds wayyyy too uppity for my taste. Plus, grammar experts have been saying for nearly ten years now that its ok, in conversational English, to end a sentence in a prep in some cases (such as the one I did).

 

[LaylaMonroe]

The person for whom it was intended (LT) knows it was in jest, and that's good enough for moi.   

[changedman]

I'm trying to find the obituary in my "obituary binder" (aka a photo album with obituaries of folks I'm closed to) so y'all can see her.

She was so beautiful, but when you look in Helen's eyes (even on the pic with that bad suit on), girlfriend wasn't happy.

Most people who intentionally create/wallow in drama are not either.


I did not mean to go on that long about that subject.  That's how I KNOW I will never preach!  If I miss "chicken time" due to my own long-winded sermons, Lord what shall I do!?  NO WAY!

LOL!

[BBoy]

And really, therein lay the real problem.

Many times in church we are so busy with drama that people actually want, there is little or no time to deal with those who really DO need attention and prayer.

That is why leadership often needs to step up to those people (in private of course) and let them know that they are not going to literally monopolize all the church's time, all the miniters' time and all of their time with drama that they are the author of and can stop at any time. Because there are those that do need real help.

Those not in leadership can help too. Stop giving an audience to everyone who wants to put on a passion play for you. I have had to learn this myself, and I am still learning it. Where there is no audience, there is no show.

Think of the Helens that you could have helped, but no . . . you were letting the life be drained out of you by someone who . . . .

"Has a man that doesn't treat them right, but they want to marry them . . . . " LEAVE IF HE NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT!

"Has a woman who takes advantage of them, but they feel a conection with her . . . . " LEAVE IF SHE ISN'T TREATING YOU RIGHT!

Etc.

 

Be Blessed

[sjonathan02]

And really, therein lay the real problem.

Many times in church we are so busy with drama that people actually want, there is little or no time to deal with those who really DO need attention and prayer.

That is why leadership often needs to step up to those people (in private of course) and let them know that they are not going to literally monopolize all the church's time, all the miniters' time and all of their time with drama that they are the author of and can stop at any time. Because there are those that do need real help.

Those not in leadership can help too. Stop giving an audience to everyone who wants to put on a passion play for you. I have had to learn this myself, and I am still learning it. Where there is no audience, there is no show.

Think of the Helens that you could have helped, but no . . . you were letting the life be drained out of you by someone who . . . .

"Has a man that doesn't treat them right, but they want to marry them . . . . " LEAVE IF HE NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT!

"Has a woman who takes advantage of them, but they feel a conection with her . . . . " LEAVE IF SHE ISN'T TREATING YOU RIGHT!

Etc.

 

Be Blessed

COSIGN!!!

[BassbyGrace]

This is going to bless someone beyond this thread.  Just like a garden:

"Anything that grows requires attention"

Whether it be talents, relationships, gossip, or the said subject.  Take that with you. 

[LaylaMonroe]

This is going to bless someone beyond this thread.  Just like a garden:

"Anything that grows requires attention"

Whether it be talents, relationships, gossip, or the said subject.  Take that with you. 

*tossing my hankie*

My God, my God, you are preaching up in here!!!

[sjonathan02]

This is going to bless someone beyond this thread.  Just like a garden:

"Anything that grows requires attention"

Whether it be talents, relationships, gossip, or the said subject.  Take that with you. 

That's real good, doc. Real good.

[BigFoot_BigThumb]

I used to see a young lady years ago that I really did like.  She was so beautiful.  I told her that I liked her a lot.  She said she liked me too.  But I was too nice of a guy for her.  She said that she liked conflict in her relationships, and I didn't give her anything to complain about.  I was too perfect for her.  She actually said this.  She shared a couple of things from her past and she seemed to really like drama in her life.  Didn't make a bit of sense to me.

[sjonathan02]

I used to see a young lady years ago that I really did like.  She was so beautiful.  I told her that I liked her a lot.  She said she liked me too.  But I was too nice of a guy for her.  She said that she liked conflict in her relationships, and I didn't give her anything to complain about.  I was too perfect for her.  She actually said this.  She shared a couple of things from her past and she seemed to really like drama in her life.  Didn't make a bit of sense to me.

Doesn't make a bit of sense, period.

[changedman]

Well I reached out to Helen as a church member. Did I tell her to leave her husband? No! She says the Lord did. So why she shot herself afterwards............??  But to tell someone "you're draining me" is like saying I DON'T GIVE A "DARN" ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.  We talk about God's healing power but it's not just bodies that He heals.  He heals minds too.  We believe confusion and drama are derivative of spirits but we won't PRAY them out with our anointed selves!  People have deep needs and the saints offer them a brushoff for their spirit of heaviness? Wow!  Some of us should have our compassion levels checked.  Just because you don't have any drama today NONE OF US ARE ABOVE IT so don't be too proud.  Everyone may not be as strong as you are at handling it but brushing people's needs off for fear that their cries for love and help are draining us?  That's a form of Godliness I don't want!  I'm sorry!

[LaylaMonroe]

I'm kinda caught between the middle on this one.  A few months ago, I would've readily agreed with BBoy.  But recently, I caused a friendship to suffer when I told my friend that she was draining me and I couldn't take her drama anymore.

She isn't exactly a drama queen, but she's in the stupidest marriage I've ever seen in my life, and frankly, I just got tired of hearing about it.  Every few months, she'd discover a NEW "other woman."  She'd call me from the airport or from Greyhound or Amtrak and tell me that she's leaving.  She'd have me online and on the phone trying to make arrangements for her to rent a U-Haul, finding her an apartment, or clearing out my guest room for her and turning my office into a bedroom for her daughter, trying to find the cheapest flights, calming all her fears, calling friends to try to get her a job, trying to find a good school for her daughter... all that, and the next day, she's like, "Oh, I decided to stay. We're gonna try to work it out."

The last time it happened, I just got fed up and told her, "Look, I love you.  I want you to be happy.  But, I can't take all this drama.  You're one of my closest friends, but the next time you and hubby break up, don't call me until you are actually IN Atlanta.  Feel free to share all the good news, but keep the bad news to yourself."

In the interest of keeping this short, I won't tell you how badly she told me off.  Let's just say things haven't been the same since then, and I really miss my friend.

[LyricTenor]

I gotcha, La5-secondsRue.   



OL, you DO know that it's gettin' close to Autumn...

[changedman]

My question is WHAT IS THE ISSUE THAT CAUSES HER TO STAY?  Does she feel she doesn't deserve any better?  Is she in a comfort zone that she finds truly hard to leave?  There's something there that needs attention.  There's an underlying issue beneath the drama.  Can't we care about the person and the issue and minister without getting too into the SITUATION?  I'm just asking.

[sjonathan02]

My question is WHAT IS THE ISSUE THAT CAUSES HER TO STAY?  Does she feel she doesn't deserve any better?  Is she in a comfort zone that she finds truly hard to leave?  There's something there that needs attention.  There's an underlying issue beneath the drama.  Can't we care about the person and the issue and minister without getting too into the SITUATION?  I'm just asking.

If the person can't (or won't) identify the issue, then we can't do it FOR them. You can't conquer what you won't confront. PERIOD.

[LaylaMonroe]

My question is WHAT IS THE ISSUE THAT CAUSES HER TO STAY?  Does she feel she doesn't deserve any better?  Is she in a comfort zone that she finds truly hard to leave?  There's something there that needs attention.  There's an underlying issue beneath the drama.  Can't we care about the person and the issue and minister without getting too into the SITUATION?  I'm just asking.

Specifically (in this particular situation) she has a very low self-esteem because of a now out-of-control weight problem, and a bad front tooth.  She thinks (or so I believe) that she won't find anyone better, and that she's too old to start looking... she's afraid of being alone and afraid of never finding another mate.  Plus, she believes that her hubby is her "soul mate."  I don't think it's about needing attention, FOR HER, because she's really not that kind of person.  She's totally not a drama queen at all, she just has a really low self-esteem.

I believe we can minister to the person without getting too involved, and I tried that... did it for a year.  She will be the first to tell you that whenever she calls me crying or upset, the very first thing I do is say, "before we go on, let's pray."  And she's not even a believer (she's the friend of mine who's agnostic).  But, you best believe we pray before we talk, and we pray again when we're finished talking, and I minister the Word to her, whether she takes it for what it's worth or not.

BUT... there does come a time when you're just tired of hearing the same old, same old... going through the same hoops, same routine... and ending up with the same result.   

I do regret telling her that because I tell you, I really miss my friend, and things really aren't the same since I told her I was tired of the foolishness.  Worst of all, her feelings were truly hurt.

[changedman]

For one with low self esteem SOUL MATE means "someone who knew all my flaws and still made the conscious choice to sleep with me". Bad theory.

[4hisglory]

If the person can't (or won't) identify the issue, then we can't do it FOR them. You can't conquer what you won't confront. PERIOD.

A-men