Man Laws

[BBoy]

Man Laws of Grooming:

Bad breath is by no means masculine, it is just nasty. Gargle that Scope, brothers . . . or don't sing in the choirstand where someone else has to sing next to you.

Close sharp looking harcuts and clean firgernails are masculine. No one will doubt your ability to change the oil in a car or fix drywall if you show up looking like somebody, brothers . . . we need to agree as men that looking sharp is in.

[NJTheBishopAnderson]

My husband emailed me the "Man Laws". Some of them were to risque to post, so I thought it would be fun if you post what you think should be a "Man Law". 

Here's a few....MAN LAWS.

2. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

So this statement about me isn't applicable??

And I thought you all forgot thank you. I guess someone else did though.
Wooooooooowwwwwwwww. LOL

I had pizza for my birthday. I treated myself.

Thank ya Jesus for MAN-LAW!!!

[HustleMan]

The following is an ABSOLUTE 'Not On Your Life' no matter how fine she is fellas:


Brokeback Mountain

Agreed

Upon finding out that another man has watched Brokeback Mountain, the Manhood Membership Bureau(MMB) shall be notified immediately.

Note: as Christians, we know that NO Pornographic material should be viewed.  However, viewing such material that contains Brokeback Mountain-themed content (You know what I mean) is means for the immediate revocation of the Man-Card.  Appeals may be made every seven (7) years.

[SisterT]

Man Law: Crying

Ok Men, crying happens.  As per Manhood Membership Bureau guidlines, a man may not cry more than 5 times in a callendar year.  If there are extenuating circumstances he may file an appeal with the MMB.  Still, that's a MORE than generous cushion. (Crying in the Presence of the Lord doesn't count towards that total)

However it DOES happen.  If a man cries, it is to be forgotten immediately afterwards.  You may NOT bring it up in the future.  If you DO, he is well within his rights to pretend he doesn't know what in Sam-hell you're talking about.

(Note: Your friend may be consoled with a Man-Hug.)

How about an ammendment:

It's also okay to cry
    (a) After wrecking your boss's car.
    (b) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

[NJTheBishopAnderson]

Man Law: Crying

Ok Men, crying happens.  As per Manhood Membership Bureau guidlines, a man may not cry more than 5 times in a callendar year.  If there are extenuating circumstances he may file an appeal with the MMB.  Still, that's a MORE than generous cushion. (Crying in the Presence of the Lord doesn't count towards that total)

I'm glad you brought clarity to this law, cause a brotha was gonna have to dispute it or add a clause or something... I'm a Jeremiah homey!!

[HammerRock]

Can we discuss avatars that may be suspect?!?! 

Now that's funny! I think I was waiting for someone to tell me to BUZZ OFF!!!

LOL

I'll find something more suitable... more manly

[elio]

Man Law: Crying

(Note: Your friend may be consoled with a Man-Hug.)[/size]

May I remind the Honorable Gentleman that Man-Hugs are reserved for greetings, as per MMB Statute. In the case of crying the Statute clearly prescribes Man-Pat-On-The-Backs, in the maximum number of three (3). One of the following expressions can be used: "C'mon", "It'll be alright", "Keep your chin up".

[sjonathan02]

    (b) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

Man-Law:

There is NO watching of "The Crying Game" ABSOLUTELY NONE!!! 

[csedwards2]

Everybody stretch your arm out as far as possible with your palm in the stop position.....

It is at no time permissable for any other man to invade this space for conversation or they're likely to be stiff armed in the afore mentioned manner to prevent and/or injure them..

No close-talkers; MAN LAW

[SisterT]

Everybody stretch your arm out as far as possible with your palm in the stop position.....

It is at no time permissable for any other man to invade this space for conversation or they're likely to be stiff armed in the afore mentioned manner to stop them..

No close-talkers; MAN LAW

LOL! 

[blessedhands80]

You mean we CAN'T sport the "Pirate" look from "Seinfeld"??

...better not say Seinfeld...

[saxandkeys]

ONLY IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS!!!  IF NOT PULL HIS CARD!!!!

All I'm sayin is why Bambi?...question?....Can we watch "Cornbread, Earl, and Me"??.....It's like the same thing, kinda....like Bambi with afro's........futhermore, ya'll can't have my card.  Anybody try to take my card...there's gonna be consequences and repercussions!!!

[LyricTenor]

Conflict Resolution

In the event that two men disagree, the following conflict resolution methods are appropriate:

• Arm wrestling
• Thumb wrestling
• First-person shooter or sports video games
• Rock/paper/scissors
• Sport of choice (Translation:  Which ever one you think/know you can beat your boy in.)

[HustleMan]

May I remind the Honorable Gentleman that Man-Hugs are reserved for greetings, as per MMB Statute. In the case of crying the Statute clearly prescribes Man-Pat-On-The-Backs, in the maximum number of three (3). One of the following expressions can be used: "C'mon", "It'll be alright", "Keep your chin up".

The death of a Wife or Child most certainly Warrants a Man-Hug!

[csedwards2]

Any man who is abundantly chest hairy, shall not wear any shirt eluding to the fact. Moreover any man who wears a shirt with his chest out is hereafter deemed questionable and maybe reffered to as Rico Suave until it hurts.

Men wear cleaveless shirts. MAN LAW

[elio]

Conflict Resolution

In the event that two men disagree, the following conflict resolution methods are appropriate:

• Arm wrestling
• Thumb wrestling
• First-person shooter or sports video games
• Rock/paper/scissors
• Sport of choice (Translation:  Which ever one you think/know you can beat your boy in.)

Alternative forms of conflict resolution may include:

• Yo' mama
• Spitting

[LyricTenor]

I'm glad you brought clarity to this law, cause a brotha was gonna have to dispute it or add a clause or something... I'm a Jeremiah homey!!

Guilty as well!

Man-Law:

There is NO watching of "The Crying Game" ABSOLUTELY NONE!!! 

DARN Right!   

Everybody stretch your arm out as far as possible with your palm in the stop position.....

It is at no time permissable for any other man to invade this space for conversation or they're likely to be stiff armed in the afore mentioned manner to prevent and/or injure them..

No close-talkers; MAN LAW

I 2nd that!

All I'm sayin is why Bambi?...question?....Can we watch "Cornbread, Earl, and Me"??.....It's like the same thing, kinda....like Bambi with afro's........futhermore, ya'll can't have my card.  Anybody try to take my card...there's gonna be consequences and repercussions!!!

*Talkin' out the side of his mouth*  You gotta let'em know you're serious man.  Make a rhyme w/your name, then they'll know you're serious.   

[csedwards2]

This just in...........

After careful review by the board of men, the game "Butt on the Pole," is hereby abolished, no questions asked. MAN LAW

[sjonathan02]

*Talkin' out the side of his mouth*  You gotta let'em know you're serious man.  Make a rhyme w/your name, then they'll know you're serious.   

"Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", right? 

[blessedhands80]

Late night phone calls 'Just to Talk'  are a 'No Go'!   

...i was just bored and wanted to call you..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO