Man Laws of the Kitchen:
You will never get anything (soda, Kool Aid, sandwich) for a buddy, he will get it for himself. If he isn't comfortable enough in your house to fix his own sandwich and get his own soda, he shouldn't eat over there.
For your mom, let her do the cooking. Bumble around the ktichen as if you don't know how to boil water. She will shake her head, say . . "Boy, move . . . get outta my way . . . " and fix you your favorite stuff. Don't beleive her poorly acted looks of irritation . . . she likes the fact that no one can cook for you quite like she can.
However, for your girlfirend / wife, you will turn into a chef. Complicated and delicious foods, salads and deserts must appear from the kitchen as if by magic, all accompanied by low background music and non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice. This should be something only the wife or girlfirend know about; children on special occasions. Only your wife or serious girlfriend should know that you can cook better than Emeril.
Musical Man Laws:
At the piano, for church, play the best gospel and act like you don't know how on earth you played that progression. men do not talk about dimished minor sevenths, chromatic walk downs or cirle of fourths. Men also do not practice, they just walk up to the keyboard and start playing.
At the piano in front of your wife or serious girlfriend: Now turn into a ballad king. Play better than Stevie Wonder, John Legend, Joe Sample opr Ben Tankard. Don't play
At The Cross. Don't get yourself in trouble by lighting a fire you are licensed to put out, single brothers . . . but let her know that accepting the ring will get her seranaded like this now and again.
Now for something that single brothers over the age of twenty two or so need to know: You can hang out at your married buddy's house, but
only until his wife comes home. When she comes in, make some small talk with the two of them and then
leave! Ditto if your buddy is in a serious relationship . . . chat for a while so as not to appear rude, then SCRAM! He is no longer your single buddy anymore, he is a husband / serious boyfriend and his wife / significant other has primary dibs on his time.
