Well let me say ncottoncandy,
I haven't read this thread since my last reply. Upon rereading it, its funny to see all that's been said. I will say, however, I think you could have kept the McDonalds comment, eventhough it was funny...lol.
Ncottoncandy, Your MOM gets paid big bucks but on purpose miss BS. S.S. and whatelse?? It's seems he is not spiritually quilified to operate in that position. HE is the Head of Music, and when you have mess starting from the head, it will flow down and through body. His "not coming" is not the problem, but his "not coming" reveals the deeper spiritual condition he's in. He needs deliverance. Continue to pray for him, the Lord's wants to use him, but he needs to go through a refining process. Look into his future and not his present and birth him forth as God directs. You are the shepard of the flock Ncottoncandy, so birth him, dont get mad at him...lol. That may even require sitting him down.
Now as for paid positions, your right, the church cannot pay everybody. I dont even know when paid musicians even started from. I will say, however, if the funds are available, pay them. If not, don't. And if you pay them, set the duties and expectations. Give them a mandate from the church(be at rehearsals, all church services) and a spritual madate from God(his purpose for you being in this position, what God's is trying to do in this season in the music minstry, where God want to see the music direction flow, blah blah blah). If they dont follow it, pray, talk and even fire them it nesseary(but only by the leading of the Holy Ghost).
If they demand money especially to the point they threatend to leave the church, God is not pleased, God has someone eles purposed for that positon. If i was getting paid 40,000 for a musician. I would be at church 8 hours a day, seeking His face, worshiping on the piano, studing, understand the Church's vision, interceeding for the music ministry, creating new songs, learning new songs/techniques. networking, fullfilling God's will, and all that other stuff. But hey, i do that now and dont even get paid for it, nor am i the MOM...lol