as a musician who is trying to step on his toes, he doesn't recives suggestions well, hell he don't communicate with me as the musician until a day before rehersal!! how does that direspect a musician thats trying to prepare for songs a musician needs a week to really becomfortable with the songs....do you agree?
Well, you can only do what you can do....and by all means, do everything in your power to do that to the best of your ability.
If it was me, and I was making the decision to stay, my tactics would have to change to a more psychological approach as opposed to the head-on approach, which seems to not currently be working.
The first thing is his communication sounds like its whack, or doesn't exist at all. I wouldn't wait on him to give me something, try to be proactive and ask him what songs he's thinking about doing, offer him suggestions for songs you know, etc. Be aggressive about it. You don't want the perception to be that you didn't ask or that you didn't care. GET ON HIS NERVES....but in a nice Christianly way, hehe.
If and when stuff hits the fan, and the pastor starts questioning whats up with the music, don't let him be able to say that "you weren't trying to get/learn the music".
And if he still ain't giving you assistance, then don't play for him a time or two, that should at least give him a sense of "hey, i can't do this by myself".
As far as changing his teaching or correcting how he teaches, there probably isn't much you can do. He appears to be set in his ways, and simply can't take constructive criticism. Thats probably something only God will be able to show him.
In the mean time, be blowin' up his phone all week until rehearsal....of course in a nice Christianly way....