Very well said Under13 and thanks. However, i don't want to mislead you.
For instance, if you go to an R&B/Neo Soul concert, on those same "mellow type" songs - the drummer will still probably put his cymbals to use in some capacity. I don't mean go crazy and rock out lol. But i mean just simply "INCLUDE" his cymbals like drummers enjoy doing (where appropriate).
And also, "how hard" you strike the cymbal depends on the flow of the song for sure. But my point is, on many of these recordings that im referring to (moreso R&B than Neo Soul), it seems that the producers have this unwritten rule that "we ain't gon add no kinda crash cymbal to this". Whether soft of hard. They just don't include them "at all" like they would LIVE "on those SAME mellow songs".
And i just found that interesting.
And fretai03, im feeling a tone from you that ain't quite right. I asked a very legit question. Either you have the answer, or you don't. God Bless.