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Author Topic: How to get rid of young people from your church  (Read 1362 times)

Offline phbrown

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How to get rid of young people from your church
« on: October 16, 2012, 07:49:31 PM »
Just in case you were wondering how to get rid of young people from your church I did a google search for you just to save you some energy and found this interesting article.

http://www.ministrymatters.com/all/article/entry/2437/article-how-to-rid-your-church-of-young-people


And to save you more energy I will give you a synopsis so if you can decide if you want to read further.
Quote
Bore young people with vague affection.

when they express needs or have ideas, ignore them.

restrict idea-giving to seniors.

Refit traditional services with praise and worship, but change nothing else.

Fill the church with references to past generations

Refuse to acknowledge today’s pop culture.

Use the phrase “does not condone” as much as possible.

Whenever possible, remind young people that they are, indeed, young people.

Talk often about when things were better, the days when the birds sang and politicians had class.



I was being sarcastic. But real question are you or is your church doing the above and wondering why there seems to be an absence of young people?

Offline T-Block

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2012, 01:45:42 PM »
Parents don't make them come. A lot of young people these days get an option of if they wanna go to church or not. I never had that option.
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Offline under13

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2012, 02:22:12 PM »
Talk to them like they are stupid.

Offline gtrdave

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2012, 02:28:56 PM »
Parents don't make them come. A lot of young people these days get an option of if they wanna go to church or not. I never had that option.

I had to go when I was younger, but starting around age 13 or 14 I could opt out from church on a regular basis and rarely went through my teen years.
Fact is back then (late '70s/early '80s) there was NOTHING culturally or age relevant for me at my church. Certainly not the music or anything in the program.
Back then...seemed like most people had blue hair and sang off-key to an organist who couldn't keep proper time.
Today, just like yesterday, a church will hit the target demographic that they're aiming for by how they look, sound and feel.
Today we're loud and have lights and video and even the people on our stage are multi-generational. We still have more work to do in how we present ourselves to a younger generation, but we're on a good path.
Music theory is not always music reality.

Offline Arkhams Finest

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2012, 03:24:31 PM »
Going to Hillsong NYC was an amazing experience because of the amount of young people.

There were more hipsters there.... :D

In the 5 or 6 times I've been there I'd say 80% of the congregation were 25 and under.  As a 32yr old this didn't bother me one bit.  It was beautiful seeing so many young people lifting their hands in worship.

Some of the things that probably contributed to such a young crowd...

No dress code.  Jeans, sneakers, flip-flops, whatever.

Young, cool pastor.   Pastor Lentz will come out wearing jeans, boots, and a T-shirt, and deliver a SOLID Word.

Freedom.  There was no one telling people to stand up and/or lift their hands.  No one telling people HOW to praise or worship.  There was no pressing for offerings.  In such a free atmosphere nobody needed to coach me to worship.  It came naturally.

Music.  The music was on point and the songs were pure Hillsong.
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Offline berbie

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2012, 03:49:15 PM »
This is one thing you have to watch about old people who have lived  long, successful lives.(and even, perhaps those who have stumbled badly)  Educated, uneducated, self made or what, they have had so many been there done that, seen the result situations.  Then here comes a young person who is trying to do something that they have seen have a bad result over and over.  The youngster doesn't know any better.  They think that youngster is being stupid.  See enough of that and they begin to class the whole group as stupid.  That  is especially true when they won't listen to anything you say, but doggedly hang to their ways/ideas thinking that the oldsters need to sit down, be quiet and eat their pablum cause they just don't know anything.

When it comes to modern technical, cyberspace skills, the youngsters are miles ahead.  Oldsters will readily admit that. Remember, though, when the youngsters get older, they will also have those skills plus wisdom and experience.  The times that they are living through make that more true than for my generation in America.

There has to be enough old and young who will recognize the asset that they both are to the program. The young has to know that there is something to be learned and wisdom to be gained from their elders.  They have got to also know that adults, especially mature ones, are not going to suddenly change to hip hop, nouveau think churching.

The mature have to respect the youngster, because they are the church of tomorrow(and an important part of the church today).  It is all about bringing people into the knowledge of Christ anyway.  A lot of the other stuff is so much man made dogma/denominational/confusing/intertainment non-essentials mixed in with the essentials of organization.

I think a lot of churches have very good youth programs, but some don't, or haven't come to grips with needs of the youth.  In order to do so, both have to recognize and adjust.

We also gotta realize that sometimes people just don't want to go to church.  They can come up with a reason.

Offline SirTJ

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2012, 05:08:34 PM »
Keep them there for 3 hours.

Make them feel vulnerable (ex: calling them out from the pulpit)

Adhere to jacked up ideals such as "these old songs worked for me, they'll work for them."

Speak in abstractions. "God is releasing a fresh wind!" A 17-year-old doesn't know what to do with that. They want something that's applicable.

Offline gtrdave

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2012, 07:42:13 PM »
Going to Hillsong NYC was an amazing experience because of the amount of young people.

There were more hipsters there.... :D

In the 5 or 6 times I've been there I'd say 80% of the congregation were 25 and under.  As a 32yr old this didn't bother me one bit.  It was beautiful seeing so many young people lifting their hands in worship.

Some of the things that probably contributed to such a young crowd...

No dress code.  Jeans, sneakers, flip-flops, whatever.

Young, cool pastor.   Pastor Lentz will come out wearing jeans, boots, and a T-shirt, and deliver a SOLID Word.

Freedom.  There was no one telling people to stand up and/or lift their hands.  No one telling people HOW to praise or worship.  There was no pressing for offerings.  In such a free atmosphere nobody needed to coach me to worship.  It came naturally.

Music.  The music was on point and the songs were pure Hillsong.

The tech pastor from my church is going to Hillsong NYC this weekend and I'm planning a trip to visit there soon.
It'd be great to meet up with you when I do, so I'll let you know.
Music theory is not always music reality.

Offline chevonee

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2012, 12:28:11 AM »
Parents don't make them come. A lot of young people these days get an option of if they wanna go to church or not. I never had that option.
This.
Strike while the iron is hot!

Offline LaylaMonroe

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2012, 04:58:44 AM »
TJ and RJ, very solid posts....
When you're in love you don't want to fall asleep bc reality is finally better than your dreams.

Offline Arkhams Finest

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2012, 07:36:35 AM »
The tech pastor from my church is going to Hillsong NYC this weekend and I'm planning a trip to visit there soon.
It'd be great to meet up with you when I do, so I'll let you know.

Please do.

As long as you go to an evening service (I attend my home church in the morning), I'll make every effort to meet you there.
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Offline gtrdave

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #11 on: October 18, 2012, 07:38:52 AM »
Makes me wonder about the kids who did stay im church. Whatever happened to them?

I'm curious, too.
Some of the kids in that 'youth group' (I use the term loosely because it wasn't really organized) I went to school with and others I didn't. While I was no saint as a teen, they (including the pastor's daughter) were involved in doing heavier stuff than I was and I was too interested in playing my guitar than getting stoned.
I don't know where any of them are now.
I do know the pastor, who eventually married my wife and I, left that church and got involved in a pro-homosexual Christian organization in the DE/MD/VA area. For what it's worth...
Music theory is not always music reality.

Offline ms danita

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2012, 08:18:29 AM »
Proverbs 22:6  God Bless

Offline BassbyGrace

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2012, 11:30:00 AM »
Going to Hillsong NYC was an amazing experience because of the amount of young people.

There were more hipsters there.... :D

In the 5 or 6 times I've been there I'd say 80% of the congregation were 25 and under.  As a 32yr old this didn't bother me one bit.  It was beautiful seeing so many young people lifting their hands in worship.

Some of the things that probably contributed to such a young crowd...

No dress code.  Jeans, sneakers, flip-flops, whatever.

Young, cool pastor.   Pastor Lentz will come out wearing jeans, boots, and a T-shirt, and deliver a SOLID Word.

Freedom.  There was no one telling people to stand up and/or lift their hands.  No one telling people HOW to praise or worship.  There was no pressing for offerings.  In such a free atmosphere nobody needed to coach me to worship.  It came naturally.

Music.  The music was on point and the songs were pure Hillsong.

Sounds just like our youth ministry.  They are in a separate building too.  Actually sounds like my church LOL (except the pastor is a lil more dressed).
Praise Him!

Offline Hasmonean1

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2012, 12:15:10 PM »
Impart a heavy load of responsibility on them thus allowing them to feel the weight of the ministry and discovering that it's easier to complain than effect change.  That should run off a few.  The ones who remain could be beneficial across the board.

Offline THE WOLFMAN

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2012, 09:45:33 AM »
Please do.

As long as you go to an evening service (I attend my home church in the morning), I'll make every effort to meet you there.

yo, i'd like piece of that action. Lemme kno when that goes down.

Offline SavnBass

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2012, 10:29:00 AM »
This is a pretty interesting thread to me. I was not raised in the church so some of this is just unrelateable to me from an experiential standpoint as a young person.. As a parent though I got a lot of raised eyebrows when I gave my now 22 year old daughter the option to not go to church when she was a senior in H.S. .. The way I saw it by forcing her to go at that point it may actually have damage some of the seeds planted earlier..  She is dong OK.. Our church has a pretty involved and active youth ministry.. which my 15 year old so is a part of so some of these issues I just don't see but I have heard stories... My only requirement for my son when we are in church is that he catch at least one of the main services.. He grew up in this church so he has a lot of friends here so we don't even have those issues.. I think where my church kind of falters is in the young adult area.. There seems to be a gap in the 25-35 age bracket here..
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Offline chevonee

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Re: How to get rid of young people from your church
« Reply #17 on: October 20, 2012, 10:32:51 AM »
Going to Hillsong NYC was an amazing experience because of the amount of young people.

There were more hipsters there.... :D

In the 5 or 6 times I've been there I'd say 80% of the congregation were 25 and under.  As a 32yr old this didn't bother me one bit.  It was beautiful seeing so many young people lifting their hands in worship.

Some of the things that probably contributed to such a young crowd...

No dress code.  Jeans, sneakers, flip-flops, whatever.

Young, cool pastor.   Pastor Lentz will come out wearing jeans, boots, and a T-shirt, and deliver a SOLID Word.

Freedom.  There was no one telling people to stand up and/or lift their hands.  No one telling people HOW to praise or worship.  There was no pressing for offerings.  In such a free atmosphere nobody needed to coach me to worship.  It came naturally.

Music.  The music was on point and the songs were pure Hillsong.
I would love to attend a service like that.
Strike while the iron is hot!
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