How do you ask for a book back?

[LaylaMonroe]

Seriously, though. I've loaned out lots of books over the years and most of them, I've never seen again. I usually just buy another one, if I really want the book, and consider the lost one a gift.

To try to encourage people to return my books, I bought some book tags, which are like stickers you put inside the book that says "this book belongs to ______________."

So about two weeks ago, I loaned a co-worker The Five Love Languages. The next day, it was still sitting on his desk, so I fussed at him a little bit (he and his wife DEFINITELY speak different languages, and it has caused a lot of problems, and he really wants help). So yeah, today, I noticed the book is still sitting in the same spot on his desk. I'm concerned that he's not going to actually read it (though he expressed interest when I told him about the book), and that after a while, it'll get lost or misplaced or thrown out or 'borrowed' or whatever - and I'll never get it back.

[sjonathan02]

Use your words, and ask. Don't make something so simple complicated.

[SirTJ]

Just go over and take it. You don't have to ask for something that's yours.

[MissMusic04]

I would just ask for it back.

This reminded me that I need to return someone's books. I have 2 of hers and I have not read them.

[under13]

I would never lend anyone a book, expect for maybe my mother or father.  Everyone else can spend the $14 (or $8 if they get it used) and buy the book themselves. It's like letting people borrow money.

[LaylaMonroe]

I was at his desk today and saw it still in the same spot.

I'm just gonna take it back next time I'm over there. I'm gonna be really annoyed next time he complains to me about things that I know that book can fix. I hate when people ask for advice and then don't take it, and then complain about the same thing. That irritates me to no end.

In other news.... U13, why on earth would you never lend a book? A book???? I lend books all the time. *shrug*

And yes, MM04, return the books!  

[betnich]

Sounds like maybe his spouse heard about that title and 'suggested' it to him, to fix their relationshhip; a bit of passive-aggressiveness there in asking for, but not reading through it...

[under13]

I don't like to have to ask for stuff back. You give people books and they act like it's a gift. Then If I want to refer back to something while it's loaned out, I don't have it.

 I don't think anybody I know wants to read the type of stuff I read, so I don't really have that problem.

I think the kindle solves that problem.

[blyempowered]

I don't like to have to ask for stuff back. You give people books and they act like it's a gift. Then If I want to refer back to something while it's loaned out, I don't have it.

 I don't think anybody I know wants to read the type of stuff I read, so I don't really have that problem.

I think the kindle solves that problem.

Yes! Can't borrow the book unless you borrow the entire device...LOL!

Books are like gold, man. Can't be given 'em out all willy-nilly.

I know that's right!

[under13]

Yes! Can't borrow the book unless you borrow the entire device...LOL!

I know that's right!

lol, that and I think some books allow you to "lend" them to others who have the same device.

[blyempowered]

lol, that and I think some books allow you to "lend" them to others who have the same device.

Oh ok. I didn't know that.

[LaylaMonroe]

The other day, we were having lunch and he was telling me a story about an incident/issue he and his wife had. He's one of the toughest guys I've ever known (physically and otherwise - like he's a big 6'6" guy, very muscular and stuff, and pretty arrogant and obnoxious... lol), but he broke down crying when he was telling me what happened. She really hurt him (unknowingly... she had written her thoughts out about him, I guess to vent or get it off her chest, and he came across it when using her computer). He was really, really  hurt.

When we got back from lunch, I sent him an IM saying "hey, you know that book that's in the corner of your desk? READ IT. "  He said that he has every intention of reading it, but he's been really busy studying for his certs and applying for jobs and stuff (which I know is true).

So I'm just gonna let him hold it, and if worse comes to worse, I'll buy myself another one and consider it a gift and a $12 lesson learned.

[malthumb]

The other day, we were having lunch and he was telling me a story about an incident/issue he and his wife had. He's one of the toughest guys I've ever known (physically and otherwise - like he's a big 6'6" guy, very muscular and stuff, and pretty arrogant and obnoxious... lol), but he broke down crying when he was telling me what happened. She really hurt him (unknowingly... she had written her thoughts out about him, I guess to vent or get it off her chest, and he came across it when using her computer). He was really, really  hurt.

When we got back from lunch, I sent him an IM saying "hey, you know that book that's in the corner of your desk? READ IT. "  He said that he has every intention of reading it, but he's been really busy studying for his certs and applying for jobs and stuff (which I know is true).

So I'm just gonna let him hold it, and if worse comes to worse, I'll buy myself another one and consider it a gift and a $12 lesson learned.

I would suggest that you give him an appropriate amount of time and then ask him if the book has helped him deal with his situation.  He's already opened that door with you.  You would be perfectly in your place to assert with him that fixing his problem should be his highest priority and that you think reading the book would help.  He'll either read it or give it back.

[sjonathan02]

I would suggest that you give him an appropriate amount of time and then ask him if the book has helped him deal with his situation.  He's already opened that door with you.  You would be perfectly in your place to assert with him that fixing his problem should be his highest priority and that you think reading the book would help.  He'll either read it or give it back.

I concur.

[followthelamb]

Ugh, I hate loaning anything out. I do it because Jesus instructed us to do so, and also because I sometimes need to borrow a tool or something like that. I ALWAYS make sure to take the item back to the owner as soon as possible, preferably the minute I'm finished using it. Everytime I loan something out, I have to go track it down and recover it. Many times I get it back and it's obviously not been cared for while it was borrowed. It used to make me VERY mad, but now I smile because I realize that each time my stuff is abused it teaches me to be that much more careful and courteous with other people's property.

And yes- books, CDs, DVDs and cassettes (Video & Audio) might as well be written off once they are loaned out. You ain't gettin' 'em back. That's not always true, but it sure is the typical rule.

[phbrown]

I really like how you sent the IM telling him to read it ...


Did he read it yet? If not I hope you took your book back. Sometimes us dudes take stuff for granted.

[Gemini47]

I would ask if he or she has finished reading my book. Then i would communicate that i would like to have it back once they have finished reading it.

[phbrown]

Did you ever get your book back?