Transracial adoption

[LaylaMonroe]

In one of my classes, we're discussing transracial adoption policy history. (Did y'all know that in the 60s, Louisiana kicked 23,000 black kids out of the AFDC program because they were in "unsuitable" homes? Their homes were deemed unsuitable because they were born to single mothers. That led to the growth of the foster care system and led to an aid program for foster care).

Anyway, we're having a pretty spirited debate about transracial adoption and one of my classmates said that her bff, who is white, is adopting two children from Africa. I asked her if she knew why they didn't get 2 children from right here in Georgia, I mean we have black children in Georgia who need parents, too. Then another classmate said "well I would like to know why they feel a need to raise a black child anyway?"

So anyway, do you think it is best for children to be raised in homes that reflect their cultural and religious background or do you think it doesn't matter as long as they are loved and safe?

[Arkhams Finest]

uey will touch down in 3....2.....1....

[Arkhams Finest]

But srsly...

It seems to be a trend now.

If a white celebrity is adopting an African baby because they want give a child, any child, a good life, then fine.

If they're doing it to show the world how incredibly tolerant they are....don't.

[LaylaMonroe]

But srsly...

It seems to be a trend now.

If a white celebrity is adopting an African baby because they want give a child, any child, a good life, then fine.

If they're doing it to show the world how incredibly tolerant they are....don't.

I brought that up in the discussion too. If they want to "give a child, any child, a good life" why does that child have to come from a foreign land? I'm not sure I get that. I know this analogy simplifies things beyond reason, but I compare it to driving 3 hours across state lines to feed the homeless. I just don't get it. I mean, I'm glad those starving African children are being rescued and treated well, and exposed to a life they never would've had otherwise... but what about our own starving children who need to be rescued and exposed to a life they might not ever have?

[under13]

uey will touch down in 3....2.....1....

I'm on the phone with a customer and you had me rolling.

[LaylaMonroe]

I'm on the phone with a customer and you had me rolling.

That reminds me. I was in the ladies room a few hours ago, and someone came in and I guess she didn't realize someone else was in there. She sat down and let out some massive sounds. I'm usually very etiquette-driven, so I'm trained to totally ignore stuff like that. Idk what got into me, but I got the giggles. I stifled it for as long as I could, then I just blurted out laughter. THAT was even more embarrassing than her flatulence.

I'm actually embarrassed that I even told that story.

[Fenix]

Maybe they just don't realize that there are really needy children right there in their own backyard. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case. it is much easier (for some odd reason) to see the need in a neighbor's house and ignore the need in yours.

[LaylaMonroe]

Yes, and yes.

Wait, wut?

[LaylaMonroe]

I think the former is best, but I also think the latter could be just as beneficial as, if not more than, the former, depending on the situation. It's not just black and white for me.

Ahhh ok, I see.

I think I agree with that.

[LaylaMonroe]

This article makes me wonder if perhaps it DOES matter....

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/transracial-adoption-america-today/story?id=9914150#.T-OEKxdfEuc

Synopsis: black guy adopted and raised by loving white parents tells the story of how he was loved, yet felt estranged and cut off from his identity and culture.

He grew up to be a documentary filmmaker and made his first movie, "Outside Looking In," about transracial adoption. In it, he confronts his own parents for the first time.

"Ultimately, I am a part of your family," he told them in the film. "I use my name with pride. But I am also an African-American in your family and, you know, you have to see me as that."

In response, his mother said softly, "Maybe we were naive. Maybe we were. I don't know."

Bertelsen said in an interview that adoptees "don't tend to want to shake the tree too much. I call it the gratitude complex. We finally get this family, whomever they are, that we can call our own and so we adjust, we adapt, we learn to go along and get along and that's what I did."

[Fenix]

Ahhh ok, I see.

I think I agree with that.

The brevity of this statement implies that more wants to be said, but there is a debate on whether or not it is worthwhile to reply.

I know you, Mme Rue. I know you...

[LaylaMonroe]

The brevity of this statement implies that more wants to be said, but there is a debate on whether or not it is worthwhile to reply.

I know you, Mme Rue. I know you...

Spot on.

[BassbyGrace]

(so like, yeah, you totally took my thread LOL!  I SWEAR I was going to post this a little while ago and just didnt. 

Pertaining the thread, I used to feel very strongly about this, but now I have some mixed views.  A white couple at church recently won the "most children" gift for Mother's Day because they had 5 of their own children and adopted 4 African children.  I began to think of all the why's, but it just came to me that maybe had THEY not adopted the children, the children would still be in horrible conditions.  Sounds simple, but if you drowning, it doesnt matter what color the hand is reaching to pull you out.  I dont think there will ever be a right answer other than a child is in a loving home.  I think we can continually ask stuff like, "why did you give money to this charity and not that one?", but in the end, you GAVE. 

As per race, this sounds a little Uey-ish, but it seems black ppl dont want the kids they make let alone adopting others.      I dont really care any more about the racial demographic.  I just desire for as many children to be helped as possible, regardless what color the parents (Im actually thinking of adopting).  I do think with a US black child with a white family there maybe a struggle within the child growing up culturally tho.  Cant say strongly if that is a bad factor or not.

[LaylaMonroe]

(so like, yeah, you totally took my thread LOL!  I SWEAR I was going to post this a little while ago and just didnt. 

Apparently you were too busy going IN at work....

Okay, going back to read your post now...

[LaylaMonroe]

(so like, yeah, you totally took my thread LOL!  I SWEAR I was going to post this a little while ago and just didnt. 

Pertaining the thread, I used to feel very strongly about this, but now I have some mixed views.  A white couple at church recently won the "most children" gift for Mother's Day because they had 5 of their own children and adopted 4 African children.  I began to think of all the why's, but it just came to me that maybe had THEY not adopted the children, the children would still be in horrible conditions.  Sounds simple, but if you drowning, it doesnt matter what color the hand is reaching to pull you out.  I dont think there will ever be a right answer other than a child is in a loving home.  I think we can continually ask stuff like, "why did you give money to this charity and not that one?", but in the end, you GAVE. 

As per race, this sounds a little Uey-ish, but it seems black ppl dont want the kids they make let alone adopting others.      I dont really care any more about the racial demographic.  I just desire for as many children to be helped as possible, regardless what color the parents (Im actually thinking of adopting).  I do think with a US black child with a white family there maybe a struggle within the child growing up culturally tho.  Cant say strongly if that is a bad factor or not.

I agree there might never be a "right" answer, but I can't help but wonder what the motive is if you're on a boat and there are 10 children drowning and you sail right past them to find an African child to rescue. I hate myself for wondering, but I really do wonder WHY. I mean, sure I'm glad you saved a child, but why'd you go past all those kids to get that one black one? What's up with that???

*sad face* I really hate that I wonder, but I do. I really think it has a lot to do with the celebrity effect... and actually, I may have just given myself a great possible thesis idea.

[Docdb04]

It really depends on how you view the situation.  Cultural and religious similiarities can definitely contribute to the upbringing of the child.  There are a host of other elements to consider.  Let's be real, if you adopt a child of a different race that child, the child is going to have to deal with some (additional) issues growing up.  It may begin to break some of the racial barriers we stand against, but will it.  Just like a child being raised by two people of the same sex, some additional issues will rise when the child is growing up.  They may overcome and view it from a positive light.  They may also fall to the issues and view it in a negative light.  It is a risk. 

It seems like, white families can adopt children (mainly black children) more successfully, than a black family can adopt a white child.   

[BassbyGrace]

I think it may possibly have to do with the fact that we are often better off here in the US than other countries (just like your poor stats in the other thread).  Even in poverty, our orphans still have it better in run down homes, than those thatched huts across the world.  That may translate to the mentality of measuring "poor-ness" and helping the more worse off.  Just a thought. 

[BassbyGrace]

Apparently you were too busy going IN at work....

Okay, going back to read your post now...

LOL!!  Sis...when I tell you SWIFTLY??  Whewwww...

[Mysteryman]

That reminds me. I was in the ladies room a few hours ago, and someone came in and I guess she didn't realize someone else was in there. She sat down and let out some massive sounds. I'm usually very etiquette-driven, so I'm trained to totally ignore stuff like that. Idk what got into me, but I got the giggles. I stifled it for as long as I could, then I just blurted out laughter. THAT was even more embarrassing than her flatulence.

I'm actually embarrassed that I even told that story.

Is this similar to when chevonne tells a story? 

[Arkhams Finest]

I agree there might never be a "right" answer, but I can't help but wonder what the motive is if you're on a boat and there are 10 children drowning and you sail right past them to find an African child to rescue. I hate myself for wondering, but I really do wonder WHY. I mean, sure I'm glad you saved a child, but why'd you go past all those kids to get that one black one? What's up with that???

*sad face* I really hate that I wonder, but I do. I really think it has a lot to do with the celebrity effect... and actually, I may have just given myself a great possible thesis idea.

That's the word right there.

If you have a clean heart and your only goal is to remove an African child from poverty and bring him/her to a land where there's more opportunity, then great.  I applaud you.  That's wonderful and beautiful and amazing.

If, in your heart, you're also considering how it will look to your friends and associates (and how they'll tell you that it's wonderful and beautiful and amazing)....if you're taking into account how tolerant and benevolent you will seem when you people see you with your African child....if any of that is a part of your thinking process then you are USING that child.