Hello Saints, I'm new on this site, so I am still trying to get a feel for things. I have a problem (now that I admit it may be a problem). I have been singing as long as I remember. In High School, I even sang in a choir for 2 yrs. One thing I've never done, and am so afraid of doing for some reason is singing in my church's choir.
I don't know if it's fear of sounding bad, fear of commitment (showing up to every rehearsal & on time), or if it goes deeper than that. I had a very bad experiece in a church when I was young (racial discrimination). Let's just say, my parents made a mistake and did not check out that church b4 bringing me. After that, it took several years for me to even see churches in a positive light. To this day, I don't feel comfortable in a church that has a white pastor or a majority white congregation. Sad, I know. I go to church now, I'm over that part. There's just one more hump I can't seem to get over; joining the choir. It seems like EVERY Sunday, the pastor's wife or someone else from the choir or one of the ushers is urging me to join. Certain people kind of spread the word about my voice (I guess winning a talent show 3 years in a row and being in the newspaper didn't help, either) so now the word is out.
I feel like my fear is that I won't be good enough for the choir. Or, that I might be uncomfortable because of my past sins, like I'm punishing myself. I keep trying to tell myself that Satan doesn't want me to join, and that's why I'm afraid. My Lord doesn't give us the spirit of fear. I'm still afraid, and I can't make it go away. What do I do? (sorry so long!)