Controlling

[joshuag]

I was talking to a young man the other day and he expressed he was told he had controlling issues, so I said to him we will pray for healing? I asked him does he fear failure? He said no. So as I sit hear bored out of my mind I post the question has anyone ever told you you had a controlling behavior issue and what did you do about it? (I know I'm going to hear pray about it) hahaha 

[churchyreal]

Yeah. I had to just accept certain things "as is". I still struggle at times.

[B_XALTED]

I am controlling and manipulative, and I fear failure. I think that in my case, it is imitated behavior. I mean, my father was controlling, and I act just like him. Does that make it right? NO... I am learning that I cannot change people. The most effective change is change within myself. But, I have yet to conquer it... So....







































I would say just pray about it

[Fenix]

Nope

[B3Wannabe]

Interesting.

[MyVirtue]

I've never been told that! seriously.

however.. .. .. .. .. .. what do you all think about the short man's syndrome? is there seriously a mental issue short men face? hmmmm

[B_XALTED]

I've never been told that! seriously.

however.. .. .. .. .. .. what do you all think about the short man's syndrome? is there seriously a mental issue short men face? hmmmm

[betnich]

however.. .. .. .. .. .. what do you all think about the short man's syndrome? is there seriously a mental issue short men face? hmmmm

There is a Napoleon Syndrome - seen in little dogs with big attitudes....

[BigFoot_BigThumb]

I would say that I really only have control issues when it comes to musical situations.  Even if I'm not the one in charge, I am determined to make sure everything is right as long as I'm involved even if I have to disagree with something.  I'm pretty much a stickler for perfection in that regard.

[betnich]

Okay, I admit that I can be picky on others when it comes to notes, beats + chords...

 

[T-Block]

I've actually been told the opposite, that I need to take more control.

[betnich]

I've actually been told the opposite, that I need to take more control.

True - people want decisive leadership, but rebel against arbitrary micro-managed edicts delivered with a condescending attitude. More than anything else, they need to know that they are a part of the ministry and that you are acting in their best interests...

[sistagurl]

I've never been told that. I don't think I try to control any situation, I just make sure no ones trying to control me.

[sjonathan02]

I've been told this in the past as it pertained to the position of MOM. I've learned to (or become better at) finding a balance between wanting the notes correct and brow-beating folks to get that desired result.

[churchyreal]

I've actually been told the opposite, that I need to take more control.

Yeah kind of the same for me.

True - people want decisive leadership, but rebel against arbitrary micro-managed edicts delivered with a condescending attitude. More than anything else, they need to know that they are a part of the ministry and that you are acting in their best interests...

Yeah I've learned that in 5 years of music ministry.

I've been told this in the past as it pertained to the position of MOM. I've learned to (or become better at) finding a balance between wanting the notes correct and brow-beating folks to get that desired result.

This, but I'm WAY too lenient....LOL!

[musicbishop]

I don't think I'm a control freak but when i see something out of order it kills me not to do something about it. I will also say that if I am in control I will let you know it. I picked that up from work because of people trying to walk over me so as a result it spills over into anything else I do in life.

I've actually been told the opposite, that I need to take more control.

I actually had a talk with a musician/MOM at the church I help on wednsdays about this. He has choir members that don't want to do this or that and he pretty much lets them get away with it for fear of losing members. I'll just put this way if it were me (especially since they have a praise team) there probably wouldn't be a choir by the time I got finished.

Since I brought that up PLEASE pray for that young man he's only been playing for a little while over a year i think (but he's picking up OK). He's the pastor's son as well, so he's under a lot of pressure. You all know church folk can be some of the hardest people to deal with.

Can I get an Amen?

[churchyreal]

I don't think I'm a control freak but when i see something out of order it kills me not to do something about it. I will also say that if I am in control I will let you know it. I picked that up from work because of people trying to walk over me so as a result it spills over into anything else I do in life.


I actually had a talk with a musician/MOM at the church I help on wednsdays about this. He has choir members that don't want to do this or that and he pretty much lets them get away with it for fear of losing members. I'll just put this way if it were me (especially since they have a praise team) there probably wouldn't be a choir by the time I got finished.

Since I brought that up PLEASE pray for that young man he's only been playing for a little while over a year i think (but he's picking up OK). He's the pastor's son as well, so he's under a lot of pressure. You all know church folk can be some of the hardest people to deal with.

Can I get an Amen?

This (in the bold) and Amen....lol!

[T-Block]

Since I brought that up PLEASE pray for that young man he's only been playing for a little while over a year i think (but he's picking up OK). He's the pastor's son as well, so he's under a lot of pressure. You all know church folk can be some of the hardest people to deal with.

Can I get an Amen?

This is what saddens me about so many churches today. As soon as someone shows even the slightest bit of talent on the keys, all of a sudden they're expected to play any song known to man, lead the choir, etc. It took me 3 years before I stepped up to even try to handle a service on my own on the keys, so I feel bad for those who have even less experience. He is definitely in my prayers.