Also a lot of these issues stem from the reality that the church wants their music right (as in secular music). It seems like the music ministries where perfecting music is not as big of a deal are the ones with less drama. I'm not saying that we shouldn't strive for excellence but I feel like because we emphasize so much stuff that God probably isn't concerned about, we have more drama.
Having been in a ministry where perfecting music is not a big deal (or as big a deal as others) I can tell you there is still drama. When people in the ministry I was in would say, "Well it doesn't have to be perfect," they were just making up for the fact that it was the weekend and they didn't want to be there. They'd practice a song, it would sound like crap, they would do better but since "it doesn't have to be perfect" they're not going to. Then again there are probably some churches that say, "Ok, so *this* is perfection. We're going to get as close to that as possible. If after we've done the best that we can we don't reach that then it's okay. It gives us something to strive for." I would LOVE to be in a ministry like that!
Third, many believe that the pastor is the head of the local church and only will respect the authority of the pastor. I feel like if the pastor gets more involved with the issues of the music ministry and sets guidelines then maybe there wouldn't be so many issues. Sorry to make this long but in my 5-6 years playing for churches I have seen these issues and to me it's ridiculous!
I think if the Pastor gives someone else leadership over a ministry the members answer to that leader first and foremost when it comes to the ministry. Someone saying, "Well I only listen to the Pastor" is just being rebellious. If the Pastor, ultimately, wants to make the rules and have other people carry them out then fine, but he shouldn't have to head the ministry because a few people don't know how to submit.