Usually what I do is listen to the choir/person sing the verse and chorus one time through. While they are singing, I try to recognize the pattern that they are using and that the song is going in. Once, I have it, I play.
Now I don't know how advanced you are, but it seems that to me that you have trouble finding patterns. My answer for this was to learn many many songs. Not for the chords, but for the pattern and progressions. You will here that a lot of songs sound the same. Well by learning these patterns, you can apply these to different songs.
Hopefully this helps,
NJD
P.S. Welcome to LGM