I know the LGM fam can help on this one!

[yamahaboy]

Ok, so we just moved into our new church about a month ago, before the move we got a family of new members. Really good people. They have a 13yr old son who wants to play the drums.

Recently, the kid has been sitting next to the drums on Sundays just observing *Which I don't mind*. So, Lately I have been letting him on for offering so he can get a feel. Basically, he can't keep a steady Tempo. He'll either speed up or slow the song down during playing. I told him to grab a metronome and play to it.

Here's were the problems occur, After I started letting him get on for offering, musicians came to me complaining that I shouldn't let him get on if he isn't able to hold it down, in which I totally agreed. So, a few weeks back, one of the members of his family goes to another member of the church and complains that the kid isn't getting enough playing time. I was really mad about this because they didn't come to me about it.

Anyway, I've let him play the past to Wednesday services and he just can't handle it and I'm still getting slack from the musicians and even some members, telling me that I need to be playing. Not to be harsh but the kid is starting to bug me because he thinks that he's supposed to play every service now, even when the choir and praise team sings, he looks at me and points to the kit as to say "You want me to get on?" I look at him and just say " Im good " but he still won't quit, he is now starting to do the thing were he pats his legs and stomps his feet as if he's hinting to get on. Now hes starting to move around my kit like its his, along with tampering with the mics on the kit. I feel bad saying no, but he just can't handle it. I really don't want to cause and problems with the family either but I don't know what else to do. Help me out.

*Rushes off to rehearsal*

[under13]

Speak to the pastor and have him tell him and the family that he cant play until he learns how to play. Having him up there playing, is neither decent nor in order.

[j_kay]

Speak to the pastor and have him tell him and the family that he cant play until he learns how to play. Having him up there playing, is neither decent nor in order.

Word.

[drummin4jc]

Speak to the pastor and have him tell him and the family that he cant play until he learns how to play. Having him up there playing, is neither decent nor in order.

pretty much sais it all...


then if you want just make a calendar give it to him and schedule him 1's or 2 times a month on a Wednesday and tell him to start off with that and as he progresses you'll let him play more...

[kodacolor]

pretty much sais it all...


then if you want just make a calendar give it to him and schedule him 1's or 2 times a month on a Wednesday and tell him to start off with that and as he progresses you'll let him play more...

 

[SabianKnight]

Speak to the pastor and have him tell him and the family that he cant play until he learns how to play. Having him up there playing, is neither decent nor in order.

Speak to the Pastor first and let him know your heart and the issue.
Decide to commit to giving the kid and opportunity to be your student and get him up to speed. he must be at every rehearsal and learn the music (so get him a CD of the songs every week and a recording of the past weeks worship service so he can hear how you and the band play the songs)...every 4-6 weeks if he has passed weekly performance tests with you playing to a track or with say the keyboard player then test him with the band. If he passes on those songs with the band (the band votes yes or no... the band (ie bass and keys/MD) gives constructive criticism on what basics they need him to play). Then you let him play An A, B or half of a Wed. service.

You started something that you didn't know how to finish but you now have a responsibility to raise up this kid to be a musician. Do not just drop him unless he will not do what is required. Have he and his parents sign a committment form/contract with the Pastor as a witness. If he doesn't make the requirements then don't stress it (unless you let him fall by the way side).

** If he doesn't have a kit to practice then Present the option of his folks getting a DW Practice Anywhere (http://dwdrums.com/smartpractice/goanywhere.htm) plus the 8" add on pad which will give him a basic 4-piece kit with a hihat pad and a ride cymbal pad... and a single pedal if not a double pedal and a cheap $40 throne from PDP or Sound Percussion (Guitar has a cheap one for $69 and another for $99 Sound Percussion store brand). Total investment $220-$320 with vrtually silent practice and a small footprint. The silence leaves no excuse for living in an apartment or practicing late at night. ** This process will teach responsibility and accountability to all involved... Folks need to know how much work goes into serving in the ministry of music.

[min_amw]

In response to the original post.... You have to remember that offering, benediction, altar call, etc. are just as important as the main praise/worship part of the service and should not be taken lightly. It's evident that the kid needs lessons and guidance. Period! If you've been appointed to a position, it's up to you to guard it and perform the task(s) required of you. You woulndn't let any average joe (or anybody) just jump on the kit if you're on a hit with Fred Hammond or any other artist, right? I'm sure you'd get fired if you did something like that. Same goes here. Even if you're not getting paid, treat your role and your responsibilities like you are getting paid $10,000/week. There's nothing wrong wanting to help someone grow. During the sevice isn't the time though. You can talk to the Pastor and Minister of Music (if there is one at your church) first, and then have a meeting with everyone so that you're all on the same page. What we do as musicians in the church isn't a game. It is a service unto The Lord and a vital part of the service and the overall "church experience".
Promote the spirit of excellence!

[SabianKnight]

Make sure that the family and the child understand that you hold a position in the praise band/music ministry and it is not a shared position but an earned one. Experience, recommendation and meeting the required skillset and mindset/attitude must be met.

This means that you have to set the standard and uphold it.
The kid and the family have to mature in worship before they can be worship leaders. They seem to think it is a talent show or Lil League/Pop Warner thing. I hope you nor your band members are projecting this kind of image. You guys need to check yourselves to make sure... because in order for a ministry to not have hirelings they must raise up leaders from within training them the correct way and in the vision given the house. Maybe this will even serve as the process for raising up a youth praise band in the near future will.

Remember train a child in the way they should go....

[min_amw]

Make sure that the family and the child understand that you hold a position in the praise band/music ministry and it is not a shared position but an earned one. Experience, recommendation and meeting the required skillset and mindset/attitude must be met.

This means that you have to set the standard and uphold it.
The kid and the family have to mature in worship before they can be worship leaders. They seem to think it is a talent show or Lil League/Pop Warner thing. I hope you nor your band members are projecting this kind of image. You guys need to check yourselves to make sure... because in order for a ministry to not have hirelings they must raise up leaders from within training them the correct way and in the vision given the house. Maybe this will even serve as the process for raising up a youth praise band in the near future will.

Remember train a child in the way they should go....

PREACH!!!!

[L.V.Drumma]

Man, i know how you feel. I used to let the son of one of the choir members play every now and then he started buggin' to play just about every sunday. And when i was playin' he used to tap on the drums(while im playing!) or get sticks and play the backbeat on my other snare along with me. Bruh, I cant STAND when people do that son, but i keep my composure and just smile because later on he'll just go back into the congregation seats.

[ojay16]

Man, i know how you feel. I used to let the son of one of the choir members play every now and then he started buggin' to play just about every sunday. And when i was playin' he used to tap on the drums(while im playing!) or get sticks and play the backbeat on my other snare along with me. Bruh, I cant STAND when people do that son, but i keep my composure and just smile because later on he'll just go back into the congregation seats.

LOL! I find that kinda funny still! I can understand how annoying that can really be. You're good for being able to smile though.

[yamahaboy]

Man, thanks for the responses, He does have a kit at home, he has had it for about 3 yrs now so he has the materials needed to practice.

Most people don't understand that is a HUGE part of ministry, they seem to take it lightly.

Ay LV. He does the same thing to me, he even hits to cymbals While Im playing. Im taking in all of this advice because he has got to understand that he can't just come in and expect to get on when he's not able to handle it.


Thanks for the replies folks, Im going to talk to him about all of this. Sabe always delivers a good sermon..

[L.V.Drumma]

Man, thanks for the responses, He does have a kit at home, he has had it for about 3 yrs now so he has the materials needed to practice.

Most people don't understand that is a HUGE part of ministry, they seem to take it lightly.

Ay LV. He does the same thing to me, he even hits to cymbals While Im playing. Im taking in all of this advice because he has got to understand that he can't just come in and expect to get on when he's not able to handle it.


Thanks for the replies folks, Im going to talk to him about all of this. Sabe always delivers a good sermon..

I be ready to take my belt off and whoop those bebe's kids yo. I just got a 10" HHX Evolution splash and a 19" Vault crash added to already owned 13" AAX Fast hats and 17" Vault crash and i bet' not catch any of 'em bangin' on my new setup. I tried to be nice and let a kids play on my 17" but i had to let them know they cant just play on my cymbals with bad technique, im very panicky when it comes to my cymbals. Microcracks can form and they break unexpectedly sometime later on and they may even make a cymbal drop on its sides to the floor sending a major shockwave throughout the cymbal. So to avoid drama im not letting anyone borrow my cymbals unless i know they have technique that i can approve of nor will i let kids play my kit during or after services or rehearsals. If they want to learn how to play then ill teach them but until then, no p.t. 

[Audiocr381ve]

I be ready to take my belt off and whoop those bebe's kids yo. I just got a 10" HHX Evolution splash and a 19" Vault crash added to already owned 13" AAX Fast hats and 17" Vault crash and i bet' not catch any of 'em bangin' on my new setup. I tried to be nice and let a kids play on my 17" but i had to let them know they cant just play on my cymbals with bad technique, im very panicky when it comes to my cymbals. Microcracks can form and they break unexpectedly sometime later on and they may even make a cymbal drop on its sides to the floor sending a major shockwave throughout the cymbal. So to avoid drama im not letting anyone borrow my cymbals unless i know they have technique that i can approve of nor will i let kids play my kit during or after services or rehearsals. If they want to learn how to play then ill teach them but until then, no p.t. 

Bro, keep it real with the little guy. First take Sabe's loving approach and then take Audio's approach and tell the kid if he hit's your cymbal one more time he'll be digesting it. Foreal man!

[fretai03]

Lol... this is strange to me. I've never been in a church where people are allowed to sit with the musicians... Then again, I never let anyone sit around me when I'm playing.

They can look at the kit from the audience seats but thats as close as they get.

After service jam sessions are all good, but don't even think about messing with the kit when its time for worship!

[yamahaboy]

Fred, I also agree with what your saying. It wouldn't get on my nerves if he didn't make silly comments while church is going on, or sometimes he will ask me obvious questions. Other times he give me these looks where he just stares at me. Its very weird.

Now he is starting to mess with all of the music equipment like Organ, Sound Boards, Mics, etc.

[smarkland38]

I understand how you in a way Yamaha. My nephew grew up watching me in church for years,he got his own drumset,was practicing. So one Sunday i decided to let him during offering time. His timing was a step behind the tempo of the song, so after that he wanted to play every sunday.I told him he needs to work on his timing until i am comfortable with with his playing. So he work on it until one Sunday he played and he was fine timing was okay.

[JFunky]

...LOL!!!  Funny Thread but good advice in it. 

[L.V.Drumma]

Bruh i took my 10" splash and 19" crash home n but the 14" B8 crash back on after i was done. Ugh ugh, bump that . N somethin' im going to do and i recommend you should too is to buy some lower-end cymbals for the church or have the church invest in them so when ur absent or if the little demon ones wanna jam after church, just take yours off and put those on if it's something you can do.

[Audiocr381ve]

Bruh i took my 10" splash and 19" crash home n but the 14" B8 crash back on after i was done. Ugh ugh, bump that . N somethin' im going to do and i recommend you should too is to buy some lower-end cymbals for the church or have the church invest in them so when ur absent or if the little demon ones wanna jam after church, just take yours off and put those on if it's something you can do.

troof