SOMEBODY TALK SOME SENSE INTO YOUR BOY!!!

[changedman]

WOW!  Today is a "wierd" day for me, and I honestly don't "care for" the way I'm feeling right now.

ISSUE ONE:
Y'all know my godmother died LAST Tuesday, right?  We pushed the funeral back til tomorrow to accommodate the 9 living relatives we found in parts of Chicago...the same ones who informed me when I CALLED THEM last night that they are not going to make it.

I SHOULDN'T be angry (because they never made it to the hospital or nursing home either...and she's been suffering with various illnesses for some years), but I AM!!!!

I feel that a person's funeral is a vast display/depiction/whatever of their life.  How does it look for this lady's 3 godchildren and their families to be the ones making arrangements, and sitting in the "family" spot when there are some relatives left....some of whom actually knew her?


ISSUE TWO:

I am very disappointed in HD (but not without reason).  I have been so busy putting the program together, working with the funeral home, laying the obituary out, etc. (while still coming to work every day).  SO, my routine has been run...run...run.

WELL...upon leaving the funeral home yesterday, I drove past the street where she used to live before going into the nursing home and BROKE! 

Most of the night last night, I was up in tears...there was nothing to do....no changes to make on the program....no more relatives to try and contact....no clothes to take to the funeral home....just wait...go to the viewing tonight...and then the funeral tomorrow.

But I am disappointed in myself because the lady lived 104 years (would have been 105 this past Tuesday) and was sick for a WHILE.  About two weeks ago they wanted to amputate a leg (but her advance directives said she didn't want that).

She's not suffering....she lived an EXTENSIVELY LONG life compared to most...so why is my stomach in knots and my eyes on "leak" all day today, too?

I am "Mr. Superman" in my family.  I sing at funerals, lay out programs for funerals, plan them and everything and don't miss a beat.  Mr. Efficient is always on top of things and I THOUGHT I had become immune to them because I've done this so many times before when I was at GPHMBC.

But that ain't the case today folks....it just ain't the case!

Pray, hear?

[Fenix]

Man, i can't even begin to know what it feels like. I do know that when we run around and are busy and all that, it takes our minds away from what we really should be doing. I suppose all the running around you did distracted you from really grieving.

Who knows!!!! Maybe it was time for you to just grieve a bit. She may have lived a long life but there is still that pain that she is gone. I remember a friend of mine whose dad died 3 years ago. He gave his life to Jesus the day BEFORE he died. I reminded her of this but it was still no consolation. Now its better.

She is in a better place man. You go ahead and do your grieving and leave the rest in God's hands.

[changedman]

Man, i can't even begin to know what it feels like. I do know that when we run around and are busy and all that, it takes our minds away from what we really should be doing. I suppose all the running around you did distracted you from really grieving.

Who knows!!!! Maybe it was time for you to just grieve a bit. She may have lived a long life but there is still that pain that she is gone. I remember a friend of mine whose dad died 3 years ago. He gave his life to Jesus the day BEFORE he died. I reminded her of this but it was still no consolation. Now its better.

She is in a better place man. You go ahead and do your grieving and leave the rest in God's hands.

My "safety net" is in full effect for now.  I am at work.  Only two of us are in my department which will keep me VERY BUSY until we get off at 4:15.

By the time I get off, the visitation at the funeral home will already have started from 4p-6p, plus I have to stop by the printer's to pick the programs up before going to the funeral home.

The florist who made the boutonnieres for the pallbearers is meeting me at the funeral home to drop them off and get her money...so if I get "tore up" from seeing the body again, that will be what I call a "necessary distraction".

My plan was to take the Chicago folks to see "Meet the Browns" tonight after we left the funeral home...but now they ain't coming!!! 

Just pray for your boy.

[musallio]

Man, I'm with you in prayer..

Take that time to yourself & don't lose out on the important things in life.
Time flies.

[pastor rob]

I'm praying for you my brother.

[changedman]

Thanks you guys, for real.

I was mad at mama earlier because it's like she could care LESS about any of this!

Truth is, this is the same funeral home where we sat in 1984 and planned my little brother's funeral, so her mentality of "not wanting to be bothered with it" is a cover up for not wanting to revisit losing her 5 year old child.

It's rough on this end too for that reason and then some.

[Doubles22]

Man, that's almost how I felt when my father passed in November.  I had my initial tears but it seemed like with all the running around, greeting people, helping my mother with arrangements and doing all the things that you did, I felt like I was on auto-pilot. 

THEN

The day came for the viewing.  A brotha saw dad laying there with the slideshow of pictures looping over and over and it was Niagara Falls up in there. 

I say all that to let you know that you don't have to be ashamed or disappointed in yourself for showing human emotions.  You have feelings for your godmother and they were bound to catch up with you at some point no matter how strong you have to be for the family.  It happens.  I'm praying for your strength because this may not be the last cry.  Just know that at 104 years, she's celebrating now because there aren't a lot of people that make it that long.  And even if some do, what are the chances that they make all those years count for something?  Just take it one day at a time and don't let the Chicago crew spoil the "Celebration of Life" that's about to go down tomorrow. 

Flip a pew for a brotha!

[changedman]

Man, that's almost how I felt when my father passed in November.  I had my initial tears but it seemed like with all the running around, greeting people, helping my mother with arrangements and doing all the things that you did, I felt like I was on auto-pilot. 

THEN

The day came for the viewing.  A brotha saw dad laying there with the slideshow of pictures looping over and over and it was Niagara Falls up in there. 

I say all that to let you know that you don't have to be ashamed or disappointed in yourself for showing human emotions.  You have feelings for your godmother and they were bound to catch up with you at some point no matter how strong you have to be for the family.  It happens.  I'm praying for your strength because this may not be the last cry.  Just know that at 104 years, she's celebrating now because there aren't a lot of people that make it that long.  And even if some do, what are the chances that they make all those years count for something?  Just take it one day at a time and don't let the Chicago crew spoil the "Celebration of Life" that's about to go down tomorrow. 

Flip a pew for a brotha!

Thanks, Dr. Kirby!  You always seem to know just what to say!

Eat a pizza for a brutha!  LOL!

[Doubles22]

No problem, dawg.


and uh...

...I ain't gonna be too many more Dr. Kirby's up in here!

[changedman]

No problem, dawg.


and uh...

...I ain't gonna be too many more Dr. Kirby's up in here!

You just TRYING to make me throw some glass into a brick wall this morning, huh?   

[Doubles22]

I'll help.  They tend to show up around these times in peoples' lives.

[changedman]

I just found out that one nephew from Arkansas is coming, so there'll be at least ONE blood relative at her funeral.

I feel a LITTLE bit better about the situation!

[ndel]

I am sorry for the loss of your godmother.  I'm sure that she was a wonderful woman because she captured your heart and you show that you loved her very much.

At 104 the people who were in her immediate circle are probably long gone. At her age the church members who were there when she was actively involved are probably long gone. If those relatives that you rounded up are older folk themselves then you're probably looking at people with all kinds of ailments themselves.  I hate to say this but if the relatives are distant, great, great, great, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. they have shown by the fact that they did not visit or try to see her or see about her they surely don't seem to have any love for her. Younger folks, many of them, and even older folk too, are downright negligent when it comes to visiting nursing homes, hospitals, the sick, etc.  It's so sad, but at the homegoing of elderly folks the crowd is usually very, very small.  Seems like the longer a person lived, the more folk ought to be there, but not so.

Thank God for the relationship that you had with this woman, thank God that He gave you a heart for elderly people, thank God that He allowed you to take care of the arrangements and all that you have done.  Face it, most folk don't put themselves out for anybody.

I pray for you ;Dand your family ;DY'all gone be al'ight

[changedman]

Yeah...the viewing at the funeral home starts in 30 minutes.  I'm leaving work headed straight there.  My godbrother will already be there.  Mama ain't going!!!

But I should be okay.

I appreciate everyone's concern.  Makes a brutha feel good!!!