I shall be your teacher...
Go out and buy the heaviest sticks on the market. Once you're able to play singles and doubles, leading with either hand, at 18000 bpm - return to me, for phase 2.
To develop foot control, I would like for you to unhook the spring. Until you're unable to control the beater, you will have to pull it off of the head. In any case, I want you to work on 64th note triplets w/ an inverted ratama-diddle flama-cue, accenting on every other stroke.
When you have mastered this regimen, return to me...
...I'm sure we'll be able to find some work for you in a traveling freak-show.