A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married

[funkStrat_97]

Sometimes as women we don't do very much to help the imaginations of men to stay in check, by the conversations that we allow them to have with us, the things that we do and the places we go, and LAWD the things that we WEAR.  

Believe me it doesn't matter what you wear.  Just the fact that you are a woman is the only excuse some guys need to start imagining things.  Lust is in the heart.   

[w42879]

AMEN WJ!!! God is the glue that keeps us together. When God is where he belongs in any relationship, there is no room for the devil. But when God is not where he belongs, the devil steps in. I am so tired of people making excuses for everything...no matter what the situation is there is no excuse for infidelity. Folks need to quit saying that someone pushed them to do something because Jesus took all of our excuses to the cross and left them there. You mean to tell me that God has power to raise people from the dead, turn water into wine, deliver the Hebrew boys from the fiery furnace...but he doesn't have enough power to help you stay faithful...THATS RIDICULOUS!! The truth is, we can be faithful and avoid temptation if we want to....If a person wants to do something bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to do it...

You have said a mouth full my friend. Everyday I am being bombarded by married couples who make excuses for infidelity and it is pathetic. There is no excuse in the world for such an act.

Believe me it doesn't matter what you wear.  Just the fact that you are a woman is the only excuse some guys need to start imagining things.  Lust is in the heart.  

That is so true!

[godsbassman2000]

Sure, it's easy for me to say you are just making excuses, if I don't struggle with the same temptation(s) as you do.

If you listen to some people, we should be able to overcome anything on our own (if we want to). And if this is true, why do we need a Savior?

Why should someone share with us, if we are of the opinion that they are just making excuses?

Is struggling with sin an excuse?

I believe there is a difference between walking in sin and struggling with sin.


I John 1:6-10

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

[Steelpulz]

Sure, it's easy for me to say you are just making excuses, if I don't struggle with the same temptation(s) as you do.

If you listen to some people, we should be able to overcome anything on our own (if we want to). And if this is true, why do we need a Savior?

Why should someone share with us, if we are of the opinion that they are just making excuses?

Is struggling with sin an excuse?

I believe there is a difference between walking in sin and struggling with sin.


I John 1:6-10

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Imma tell you the truth. Everyday, I mistep. Sometimes it happens "by accident". Other times it is "on purpose". I just cannot do it by myself. Thank God for His mercy. I need Jesus and the Holy Ghost. My heart and mind says one thing, but my flesh says something else. Although, on the outside it may look like my flesh is winning, I am assured that I am saved and that my walk is a process and that God has delivered me. I am moving toward the place where His deliverance will be evident to me and to others.

[w42879]

Sure, it's easy for me to say you are just making excuses, if I don't struggle with the same temptation(s) as you do.

If you listen to some people, we should be able to overcome anything on our own (if we want to). And if this is true, why do we need a Savior?

Why should someone share with us, if we are of the opinion that they are just making excuses?

Is struggling with sin an excuse?

I believe there is a difference between walking in sin and struggling with sin.


I John 1:6-10

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

I understand what you're saying but when I speak, I am speaking through personal experience and not just off the top of my head. I was addicted to porn, women, and everything else but God delivered me when I was ready to surrender and quit making excuses. All I would say was, The flesh is weak but yet I continued to put myself in vulnerable positions. If you know that your weakness is porn why go to a porn store. We can change if we want to change. Mind you this is what worked for me, I'm not about to argue what it takes for someone else to overcome. Quite frankly that would we be ignorant on my part but I know what God did for me.  Be encouraged--WJ

[chevonee]

I understand what you're saying but when I speak, I am speaking through personal experience and not just off the top of my head. I was addicted to porn, women, and everything else but God delivered me when I was ready to surrender and quit making excuses. All I would say was, The flesh is weak but yet I continued to put myself in vulnerable positions. If you know that your weakness is porn why go to a porn store. We can change if we want to change. Mind you this is what worked for me, I'm not about to argue what it takes for someone else to overcome. Quite frankly that would we be ignorant on my part but I know what God did for me.  Be encouraged--WJ

Now that's what I'm talking about!! Whenever I say something its based on my own experience. I was once entangled in adultery and I know that had I avoided putting myself in a bad position that I wouldn't have been overtaken by it.

Proverbs 5:1-8 [Amplified Bible]
1 MY SON, be attentive to my Wisdom [godly Wisdom learned by actual and costly experience], and incline your ear to my understanding [of what is           becoming and prudent for you],
2 That you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer [to temptation].

3 For the lips of a loose woman drip honey as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil;(A)

4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged and devouring sword.

5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold of Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead).

6 She loses sight of and walks not in the path of life; her ways wind about aimlessly, and you cannot know them.

7 Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, and depart not from the words of my mouth.

8 Let your way in life be far from her, and come not near the door of her house [avoid the very scenes of temptation],(B)

Walking in sin is knowing that you have a problem with alcohol but you still go to a bar. You know you have a lust problem but you watch things that you know that you shouldn't watch....An excuse is when you continue to sin but you fail to seek God to correct that problem. God has the power to help us overcome anything that we want to overcome...God is bigger than any problem or any habit...we just have to quit magnifying the problem and magnify God. When God is bigger the problem is smaller....when the problem is bigger, God is smaller.

[bigblackdrummer]

Let me say first of all that this situation doesn't apply to me...THANK GOD!! I know that we may have had this discussion a while back but I'm not able to find it...so here's the question. If you found out that your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife was looking at illicit pictures what would you do? If married would this be grounds for divorce...especially if this has happened before?

*I hope this doesn't offend anyone or get locked but there is someone that I need to help and I really don't know how to go about it*

There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.

[under13]

There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.

I think many people are afraid to tell their partner that they are unsatisfied

[godsbassman2000]

There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.
I agree with you. There is no pat answer to this issue.
Below is supporting scripture not "my personal opinion".

1 Corinthians 7 (New King James Version)
New King James Version (NKJV)
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

1 Corinthians 7
Principles of Marriage

1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.

[w42879]

There are so many reasons why people turn to porn!!! Its certainly NOT grounds for divorce!!! Its something that both partners need to talk about.....Could be a sexual issue. Some women think its cool to just say no to their spouses needs all the time! After awhile men might turn to porn to satisfy their needs, not only that they start to notice other women sexually.....When a mans needs are being fulfilled (usually) their minds have better control over sinful sexual thoughts BUT neglected even the Pastors wife starts looking good!!!!!

Don't forget this is not a one reason one fix answer. I just touched on one subject.

Again from my own personal experience I can tell you that a woman could look like J-lo but, if you don't tame that flesh you'll cheat on her just like you would Ugly Betty. You can make love everyday of the week, but if you don't tame that flesh you still won't be satisfied. I understand your point and yes women and men can deprive their spouses of their due marital rights according to 1 Cor 7th chapter but that still does not justify breaking marriage vows. No one has a right to cheat. If we sought God the way that we sought porn then we wouldn't have a problem.

[under13]

Again from my own personal experience I can tell you that a woman could look like J-lo but, if you don't tame that flesh you'll cheat on her just like you would Ugly Betty.

I thought Ugly Betty was kinda hot!!

[chevonee]

Let me ask a simple question....When we stand before God, are we going to be able to say....God I cheated on my spouse because he/she didn't give me as much as I wanted? Is God going to accept that?

[under13]

Let me ask a simple question....When we stand before God, are we going to be able to say....God I cheated on my spouse because he/she didn't give me as much as I wanted? Is God going to accept that?

What happened to forgiveness of sins?

[w42879]

What happened to forgiveness of sins?

God is not mocked my friend. He is not going to allow us to continue in sin and get away with it. I can't tell you how many times I apologized to my ex-wife, she forgave me over and over again but her patience eventually wore thin. God forgives but he will not allow us to continue to sin.
Romans 6:1-3--Message Bible
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!

[under13]

God is not mocked my friend. He is not going to allow us to continue in sin and get away with it. I can't tell you how many times I apologized to my ex-wife, she forgave me over and over again but her patience eventually wore thin. God forgives but he will not allow us to continue to sin.
Romans 6:1-3--Message Bible
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!

Thanks. Are you a preacher?
Ima have to cop the messege vrssion of the Bible

[godsbassman2000]

Again from my own personal experience I can tell you that a woman could look like J-lo but, if you don't tame that flesh you'll cheat on her just like you would Ugly Betty. You can make love everyday of the week, but if you don't tame that flesh you still won't be satisfied.

I understand your point and yes women and men can deprive their spouses of their due marital rights according to 1 Cor 7th chapter but that still does not justify breaking marriage vows.
Very true. You will never find me calling wrong, right. No, it is not justified. Yet, it is something that happens in and out of the church. Galatians 6 speaks of restoring a brother or sister who has been overtaken by sin. Why?

No one has a right to cheat. If we sought God the way that we sought porn then we wouldn't have a problem.

Let's be real, or better yet I'll be real. I love the Lord as much as I am able. But, it does not negate the fact that I struggle with lust at times. And, it is much stronger when me and my wife are at odds. I have been on the doorstep of adultery. My mind and my body were willing, but my heart and spirit were not. By God's grace and mercy, it did not happen.

[chevonee]

God is not mocked my friend. He is not going to allow us to continue in sin and get away with it. I can't tell you how many times I apologized to my ex-wife, she forgave me over and over again but her patience eventually wore thin. God forgives but he will not allow us to continue to sin.
Romans 6:1-3--Message Bible
1-3So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!

This is the key to it all WJ....its one thing to sin but to continue in sin is two totally different things. The problem lies in the fact that we appologize but fail to seek God to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. "Baby please forgive me".....continue to sin...."I'm sorry baby"....continue to sin...."See what had happen"....continue to sin. Would you like for someone to treat you that way? Of course not. That's just the way we see it though, its not our jobs to try to convice anyone of anything. This is the scripture that you mentioned. God bless!!

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap

[w42879]

Thanks. Are you a preacher?
Ima have to cop the messege vrssion of the Bible

I'm an Associate Pastor

Let's be real, or better yet I'll be real. I love the Lord as much as I am able. But, it does not negate the fact that I struggle with lust at times. And, it is much stronger when me and my wife are at odds. I have been on the doorstep of adultery. My mind and my body were willing, but my heart and spirit were not. By God's grace and mercy, it did not happen.

God has no problem whatsoever with struggling, yeilding is what angers God.

This is the key to it all WJ....its one thing to sin but to continue in sin is two totally different things. The problem lies in the fact that we appologize but fail to seek God to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. "Baby please forgive me".....continue to sin...."I'm sorry baby"....continue to sin...."See what had happen"....continue to sin. Would you like for someone to treat you that way? Of course not. That's just the way we see it though, its not our jobs to try to convice anyone of anything. This is the scripture that you mentioned. God bless!!

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap

Precisely my friend. I'm not trying to change anyones mind, I'm merely speaking from my own experience. As long as I spent time daily  in the Word of God, I had to lust problem. When I stopped spending time with God, I failed. It's really that simple. I believe that you've already stated the fact that we can trust God to do everything else but keep us faithful in our marriages. That is an insult to God--WJ

[godsbassman2000]

This is the key to it all WJ....its one thing to sin but to continue in sin is two totally different things. The problem lies in the fact that we appologize but fail to seek God to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. "Baby please forgive me".....continue to sin...."I'm sorry baby"....continue to sin...."See what had happen"....continue to sin. Would you like for someone to treat you that way? Of course not. That's just the way we see it though, its not our jobs to try to convice anyone of anything. This is the scripture that you mentioned. God bless!!

Could this be because there is a deeper issue at hand?
Before I entered treatment for alcohol abuse, I was clueless as to why I kept drinking and getting drunk, even when I promised not to do it again. And, nothing changed until I got professional help. I often feel that "Christians" overlook the fact that human beings have problems which are not resolved by prayer alone. And it is not necessarily a lack of faith. God is my all and all. But, I still go the the doctor when I need to.

Galatians 6:7
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap

[godsbassman2000]

I'm an Associate Pastor

God has no problem whatsoever with struggling, yeilding is what angers God.
If "we" could live this life without sometimes yielding to sin, why was it necessary for Jesus to die?
Precisely my friend. I'm not trying to change anyones mind, I'm merely speaking from my own experience. As long as I spent time daily  in the Word of God, I had to lust problem. When I stopped spending time with God, I failed. It's really that simple. I believe that you've already stated the fact that we can trust God to do everything else but keep us faithful in our marriages. That is an insult to God--WJ