A controversial question- to those who are in a relationship or married

[joshuag]

Thank you, you're dismissed.  LOL!

hahaha hey nessalynn!!! someone had to go there.... hahahahahahahhaha

[LEYLAH]

Embarass of what? because he/she likes to look at those types of pics...

[pastors4jesus3]

As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison

[Big T.]

As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison

There are alot us us men who have enjoyed veiwing these materials at some point in our lives(hey let's be honest). In fact our society tells us that men should have a collection of porn or something is wrong with them. The bottom line is, the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord,greater is He that's within me, than he that's in the world.

[under13]

I'm not married yet, but I think it depends on how "open" and secure the couple is with thier sex life (among other things).
Me personaly I'd be a little jealous if my girl was lookin at nudie mags or porn. But I wouldnt leave her over that. Especialy if thats our only problem and we have kids.

I probaly wouldnt make a big deal out of it. Just because someone looks at nude pics doesnt mean they are unfaithful.
I'd be more concerned about my wife telling our business to her freinds. ESPECIALLY A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

I suggest therapy. It might help if they see a Relationship/Sex therapist. 

[chevonee]

As a person who's been delivered from this type of thing I can say that one must be willing to catch it before it blows up in your face. I was preaching, shouting and teaching but behind closed doors, I was addicted to porn. It took me 10 years to build it, but only a matter of seconds to ruin it.

God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleans us of all unrighteousness but we must be willing to admit it and not make excuses for such an act. I don't care what is happening in our lives we have absolutely no right to indulge in such fleshly foolishness. Now that I have owned up to the problem, I have been free for more than 4 years it is still a struggle. I had to decide to avoid the very appearance of evil. It starts small and then it develops into something that you wouldn't imagine. The devil can sugar coat it and make it look enticing but after you get caught, he laughs at you and tell you how foolish you were for falling into the trap that he set.

It's not worth it


Pastor Robison

God bless you Pastor Robison!! This is how we overcome obstacles by the blood of the lamb and by the Word of our testimony (Rev 12:11)

[Big T.]

I'm not married yet, but I think it depends on how "open" and secure the couple is with thier sex life (among other things).
Me personaly I'd be a little jealous if my girl was lookin at nudie mags or porn. But I wouldnt leave her over that. Especialy if thats our only problem and we have kids.

I probaly wouldnt make a big deal out of it. Just because someone looks at nude pics doesnt mean they are unfaithful.
I'd be more concerned about my wife telling our business to her freinds. ESPECIALLY A FRIEND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

I suggest therapy. It might help if they see a Relationship/Sex therapist. 

That's one of the problems with pornography, it can "open" the door for alot of other problems.

[SisterT]

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

I can't see a person looking at nudie magazines without lusting. Therefore, the heart has already sinned.

But you asked if this is grounds for divorce. Considered this--Jesus said that adultery was the only reason one could get a divorce. In other words, God allows one out of there marriage because of adultery. The consequences of divorce (broken home, kids affected, vows broken, union severed)  will still be felt, regardless of the fact that one got out because of Adultery. So that makes me believe that even in Adultery I should do my best to work it out.

God forgives the person of the sin if they have a repented heart. THEREFORE, if God is willing to forgive, and restore the adulterer's relationship, then why can't we forgive and restore the marriage relationship. Our standards shouldn't be higher than God's.

[under13]

That's one of the problems with pornography, it can "open" the door for alot of other problems.

the key word is COULD. Smoking Weed COULD lead to smoking Crack, but it doesnt always. You get my point? EVERBODY IS DIFFERENT

Yeah so since her partner is uncomfortable with her looking at porn she should try to stop.
If I was married and doing something that hurt my marriage, I would try my hardest to stop.

I think Most secure woman would have no problem with thier husband suscribing to Mens Magazines. Besides men dont need for a women to be naked for them to lust after them.

[sjonathan02]

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

I can't see a person looking at nudie magazines without lusting. Therefore, the heart has already sinned.

But you asked if this is grounds for divorce. Considered this--Jesus said that adultery was the only reason one could get a divorce. In other words, God allows one out of there marriage because of adultery. The consequences of divorce (broken home, kids affected, vows broken, union severed)  will still be felt, regardless of the fact that one got out because of Adultery. So that makes me believe that even in Adultery I should do my best to work it out.

God forgives the person of the sin if they have a repented heart. THEREFORE, if God is willing to forgive, and restore the adulterer's relationship, then why can't we forgive and restore the marriage relationship. Our standards shouldn't be higher than God's.

But, our pride is.

[pastors4jesus3]

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

I can't see a person looking at nudie magazines without lusting. Therefore, the heart has already sinned.

But you asked if this is grounds for divorce. Considered this--Jesus said that adultery was the only reason one could get a divorce. In other words, God allows one out of there marriage because of adultery. The consequences of divorce (broken home, kids affected, vows broken, union severed)  will still be felt, regardless of the fact that one got out because of Adultery. So that makes me believe that even in Adultery I should do my best to work it out.

God forgives the person of the sin if they have a repented heart. THEREFORE, if God is willing to forgive, and restore the adulterer's relationship, then why can't we forgive and restore the marriage relationship. Our standards shouldn't be higher than God's.

You are correct Sister T. God will forgive us, the problem comes when one continues to promise to change but fails to keep that promise. A person has to make a decision to permanently change and make no excuses for anything there after.

[Big T.]

the key word is COULD. Smoking Weed COULD lead to smoking Crack, but it doesnt always. You get my point? EVERBODY IS DIFFERENT

Yeah so since her partner is uncomfortable with her looking at porn she should try to stop.
If I was married and doing something that hurt my marriage, I would try my hardest to stop.

I think Most secure woman would have no problem with thier husband suscribing to Mens Magazines. Besides men dont need for a women to be naked for them to lust after them.

O.k. one thing COULD lead to another, but, porn and the use of porn WILL lead to hell.

[under13]

O.k. one thing COULD lead to another, but, porn and the use of porn WILL lead to hell.

So is sexual sin any worse than any of the other sins we commit???

[pastors4jesus3]

O.k. one thing COULD lead to another, but, porn and the use of porn WILL lead to hell.

Without a doubt my brother.

Pastor Robison

[Big T.]

So is sexual sin any worse than any of the other sins we commit???

And I quote, "But the fearful, unbeliving,abominable,murderers, whoremongers, sorcerers, idoliters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."Revelation 21:8.

[under13]

And I quote, "But the fearful, unbeliving,abominable,murderers, whoremongers, sorcerers, idoliters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."Revelation 21:8.

But Thank God for the Blood of Jesus and Forgiveness. We are all sinners. If its not one thing then its another. But we like to focus on things that are no more detrimental than the other things we do.

[SisterT]

You are correct Sister T. God will forgive us, the problem comes when one continues to promise to change but fails to keep that promise. A person has to make a decision to permanently change and make no excuses for anything there after.

I realize that some folks are repeat offenders--but even God forgives the repeat offenders. A person who truly repents with turn from their old ways. If they mess up, they turn around again, and keep making efforts to live a righteous life.

The problem comes in when our expectations are too high of the person, specifically marriage partner, is trying to change. When he/she messes up again, we are ready to bail out. Sometimes it's not totally his fault that he fails, sometimes we share in our spouse's failure. Why---because we never trusted them to do right from, we never trusted them to succeed, we never truly forgave them for their actions.

I really can't expect my husband to do the right thing, if I don't fully forgive him after he messes up. For instance, if he were to have an affair, I must forgive him, wipe the slate clean and move forward in our relationship. There must be restoration---placing the relationship back to where it was, actually even better.

When I say that I don't trust my husband because he did it before and I'm being cautious, then I am actually speaking a negative thing over my marriage. We are one flesh when we become married. Therefore, If I don't forgive him the way God intends for me to forgive, then I am an accomplist to his failure if he was to mess up again. The Bible says as a man think in his heart so he he----if I think my man is going to mess up again, then it probably will happen. I am guilty of thinking my husband would fail---so why should I be surprised when he does,

I counsel many marriages, and I see one in the relationship say "I knew he was going to do that again, he always does it." Well, that tells me that you didn't wipe the slate clean, and you expected the worse for yourself. Why be surprised that you got what you expected.

 

[Fenix]

This is just bloody awful!!!

Another Christian guy who is addicted to porn  . I advocate very strongly that divorce should be the last resort to be taken. let them come together and ADMIT there is a problem and then  seek counseling from a professional.

Speaking from experience, there is nothing that KILLS self esteem and self worth and a fulfilling relationship with God and with people in the BOC that being addicted to porn. What makes it especially bad for us Christians is that we have the Holy Ghost who convicts us and we are absolutely torn by this. In fact, hell has started because this sin causes a separation from God which is just as bad as being in hell.  I hated my self for the longest time and am still amazed at how good God has been to me even when he KNEW i would still do this in the future, he blessed me nonetheless. We serve a truly AMAZING God.

I guess it is a moot point to state that he understands he is addicted. Admitting is the first part, wanting to stop is the second part. This is where his spouse can come in. I understand that it is painful for the spouse to know that that is what her husband is doing when she is not around. It erodes trust, but she must not be too quick to kick him in the teeth about it. She MUST be there to help him. If he cannot feel God's love, she MUST become that love if he cannot feel it directly from God.

The devil is so totally wicked and he hates us. This is going to be a hook that he will yank on from time to time to try and trip him up. Its not going to be easy to understand that God has allowed this for some reason. If our very hairs are counted, then he has to be shown that, although this is evil, if he allows God to conquer through him, he will come out all the better.

Thank God for victories, great and small.

[Big T.]

But Thank God for the Blood of Jesus and Forgiveness. We are all sinners. If its not one thing then its another. But we like to focus on things that are no more detrimental than the other things we do.

That is true.  There is no such thing as big sins or little sins.

[under13]

I realize that some folks are repeat offenders--but even God forgives the repeat offenders. A person who truly repents with turn from their old ways. If they mess up, they turn around again, and keep making efforts to live a righteous life.

The problem comes in when our expectations are too high of the person, specifically marriage partner, is trying to change. When he/she messes up again, we are ready to bail out. Sometimes it's not totally his fault that he fails, sometimes we share in our spouse's failure. Why---because we never trusted them to do right from, we never trusted them to succeed, we never truly forgave them for their actions.

I really can't expect my husband to do the right thing, if I don't fully forgive him after he messes up. For instance, if he were to have an affair, I must forgive him, wipe the slate clean and move forward in our relationship. There must be restoration---placing the relationship back to where it was, actually even better.

When I say that I don't trust my husband because he did it before and I'm being cautious, then I am actually speaking a negative thing over my marriage. We are one flesh when we become married. Therefore, If I don't forgive him the way God intends for me to forgive, then I am an accomplist to his failure if he was to mess up again. The Bible says as a man think in his heart so he he----if I think my man is going to mess up again, then it probably will happen. I am guilty of thinking my husband would fail---so why should I be surprised when he does,

I counsel many marriages, and I see one in the relationship say "I knew he was going to do that again, he always does it." Well, that tells me that you didn't wipe the slate clean, and you expected the worse for yourself. Why be surprised that you got what you expected.

 

I Think its offering time in the temple!!

And I think its time to consider bringing back the relationships Room. Cuz its Evident that we have a lot of questions about relationships and God