Men: So you think you have done enough.

[Mysteryman]

I wanted to posted this a long time ago but I dont think I got around to it. In my quest to understand more in how to become a better person God is giving me a lot of insight. Some knowledge comes from looking more in depth back on my life, some watching others and some from seeking information from others.

I see fathers who dont play with their children and push off the responsibility on the wife. This happened to me when I was younger. I was looking for time with my dad and he said he was tired. lol Now that Im older I understand why but I see as a dad personally that's not going to be enough. I love my dad but I dont go to see him often because we were together but not close as a family. Im still trying to break that habit. I encourage my friends to see their kids because you will pay in the long run if you dont.

I have one friend that is having spousal problems. I try to encourage him to get to the root of the problem but I keep getting excuses or some spiritual sike out.  Sometimes pride wont let us ask questions so we rack our brains trying to figure out what went wrong when you can just ask and get an answer. (That answer may or may not be truthful but atleast you know what the other person is thinking.)

I can see habits that can be detrimental to relationships. I asked the same brother do you think bad habits could be a problem? The answer I received was she has children. lol In our mind that might be rational but I thought in the mind of a woman, she is going to be thinking youre a grown man.

Something else I learned on average a person is going to treat your possessions at the same level you treat them. So if you set low standards of how you handle possessions they will set low standards. (There are exceptions to the rule.)

[sjonathan02]

I wanted to posted this a long time ago but I dont think I got around to it. In my quest to understand more in how to become a better person God is giving me a lot of insight. Some knowledge comes from looking more in depth back on my life, some watching others and some from seeking information from others.

I see fathers who dont play with their children and push off the responsibility on the wife. This happened to me when I was younger. I was looking for time with my dad and he said he was tired. lol Now that Im older I understand why but I see as a dad personally that's not going to be enough. I love my dad but I dont go to see him often because we were together but not close as a family. Im still trying to break that habit. I encourage my friends to see their kids because you will pay in the long run if you dont.

I have one friend that is having spousal problems. I try to encourage him to get to the root of the problem but I keep getting excuses or some spiritual sike out.  Sometimes pride wont let us ask questions so we rack our brains trying to figure out what went wrong when you can just ask and get an answer. (That answer may or may not be truthful but atleast you know what the other person is thinking.)

I can see habits that can be detrimental to relationships. I asked the same brother do you think bad habits could be a problem? The answer I received was she has children. lol In our mind that might be rational but I thought in the mind of a woman, she is going to be thinking youre a grown man.

Something else I learned on average a person is going to treat your possessions at the same level you treat them. So if you set low standards of how you handle possessions they will set low standards. (There are exceptions to the rule.)

So, what's your question?

[SisterT]

So, what's your question?

Dued, the title:

Men: So you think you have done enough?  

[under13]

Dued, the title:

Men: So you think you have done enough?  

You would think that the "grammar Wizard" would have noticed the question mark in the title

As for your question:

In this era we are so disconnected from our families, We dont eat togather, talk togather, etc. Instead we watch tv, listen to ipods, chat on LGM etc.
I'm at my parents house now. I should be talking to them but I'm talking to you guys.

[SisterT]

You would think that the "grammar Wizard" would have noticed the question mark in the title

It's a known fact that I don't proofread. I type and post. Between monitoring the site, answering pm's and having a life, I don't have time to proof---expect on my stuff I do for presentations.

They inducted me into the "Most Jacked-up post" hall of fame a long time ago, so that clears me of the Grumpy Grammar Wiz's reviews.   

[Mysteryman]

So, what's your question?

Touch your neighbor and say premium member. 

[uniquepraise]

I think some of us "church folks" are too caught up in church and need to put our priorities in order.  Im all for being dedicated to the local assembly but not at the risk of my family.  Ive prayed and ask GOD for balance-balancing my duties as a wife, mother etc and as a minister, etc

[sjonathan02]

Dued, the title:

Men: So you think you have done enough?  

Done enough, what? 


He goes into a speech, but never clarifies; so, this thread can go in a million different directions (without any help from the hijack committee). 

[TheNewMusiQ]

I would say I dont know what He's talking bout but then i do.

I play with my kids all the time, I play theme park rides and hide and seek with my daughters and my 13 year old son and I are always at it playing Madden 08, NBA 08, He he beats me real bad in Virtua Fighter 5, like  I stole something

One of the the things i always said that i would be there for my kids, and im not going to be a dead beat father, and thank God i'm not. But it goes back to how I was brought up.. Dad always took us to Ball games, political campaign speeches to hear candidates, and fishing is still a fam tradition, so I was blessed to have a father who was and still is well......a Father!

Trust me Fathers, when you spend that lil quality time with that son or daughter when they want to is PRICELESS, especially in the long run....the bond is such that when they become teens it makes it alot easier for them to open up to us.

It may not mean much now but in the end it will.....Train up a child...and ya'll know the rest..
 
Musiq!

[bishop2]

I think some of us "church folks" are too caught up in church and need to put our priorities in order.  Im all for being dedicated to the local assembly but not at the risk of my family.  Ive prayed and ask GOD for balance-balancing my duties as a wife, mother etc and as a minister, etc

Amen!!!! I've seen too many husbands and wives divorce because of church and how it can take over lives. (Including my parents)  First ministry is ALWAYS the fam...

[Mysteryman]

Done enough, what? 


He goes into a speech, but never clarifies; so, this thread can go in a million different directions (without any help from the hijack committee). 

I thought the men would get it. lol We dont do enough in our areas of responsibility. I know both men and women dont do enough of whatever. Im coming from the aspect of our level of acceptable responsibility. I didnt want to name the thread something like dead beat dads because Im talking about more than just responsibility to children. Seems like some fathers put their children as a top priority and some dont.

Here's an example for me personally. My parents and I are in the same town and I am single. My parents are also divorced. I dont check up on my mom enough to see if she is alright or need anything. Even if I dont go by to see both my parents the least I can do is call and sometimes I dont do that. I may an excuse sometimes I will call later but forget. Im trying to break that bad habit.

Another example could be the married guy who doesnt let his wife know where he is so she is wondering. He assumes she knows but doesnt take the time to call.

I could go into more but the basic concept is that Im finding more and more brothers think we have done enough and its not even at an acceptable level of responsibility.

[sjonathan02]

I thought the men would get it. lol We dont do enough in our areas of responsibility. I know both men and women dont do enough of whatever. Im coming from the aspect of our level of acceptable responsibility. I didnt want to name the thread something like dead beat dads because Im talking about more than just responsibility to children. Seems like some fathers put their children as a top priority and some dont.

Here's an example for me personally. My parents and I are in the same town and I am single. My parents are also divorced. I dont check up on my mom enough to see if she is alright or need anything. Even if I dont go by to see both my parents the least I can do is call and sometimes I dont do that. I may an excuse sometimes I will call later but forget. Im trying to break that bad habit.

Another example could be the married guy who doesnt let his wife know where he is so she is wondering. He assumes she knows but doesnt take the time to call.

I could go into more but the basic concept is that Im finding more and more brothers think we have done enough and its not even at an acceptable level of responsibility.

Ok. That's clearer.

I think the whole "done enough" tag is relative and a case-by-case situation depending on a brotha's level of experience in any of those "acceptable areas".

For example, my family isn't really one to keep in contact, like 'dat. We call each other...whenever; it's no big deal.

I just got married; but, even still, my wife has a general knowledge of where I am at all times, and, I know where she is, generally. Generally is good enough for us it affords us the opportunity to surprise each other when the need arises, such as this Valentine's Day, before people start trippin'.

As it pertains to children, well, can a man ever do enough in that regard?

Overall, being willing to live up to a man's "acceptable responsibility" needs to be addressed BEFORE that man HAS those responsibilities.

[joshuag]

well i sat back off this posts for a few reasons but i am drawn back. There is never enough that can be done. The inheritance the knowledge that can be past from father to son is endless. So much a father can show him or her about life. Beinf saved there are a lot of good things like how to be a man of God. How to love his wife as a person not a thing. To truly be on 1 accord and being the head and not the tail. How to work for the Lord but also be a father. Spending time with your children are one of the best things you can do. One it gives you time to step away from lifes problems, second gives you that bond that will never go away.

The difference in today's family and past family living style. We sat at table to eat together. We father read bed time stories, they played ball, played catched, go to a game, learn how to ride a bike. Lots of fathers dont do this now because there fathers didn't. Now knowing how to talk to there children because they where not spoken to. Placing seeds in them to know where they came from who they are and how to make a mark in this world. They are values that are not placed in our children when they are young. parents not really in love with each other, rather marry then burn. Parents that dont love themselves nor trully love God. Thinking more with there body than with their mind. Men ready for sex but not ready to be a parent. Women loving men and trusting their words that are spoken, empty promises. 

We speak about evolving or doing things different than our parents... So really are we as parents men and women doing enough??? A question that only you can answer for yourself....


joshua is now walking out the door... lol