Hello, Everyone!
My name is Darrin.
Since I was a young child I have watched our society turn further and further from God. I grew up with a grandmother who was very committed to her faith. She expounded for hours about God and what He had done for her and went out of her way to feed me scripture and teach me lessons from the Bible. I then went out into the world and immediately noticed a stark contrast to her view of life. That was 30 yrs ago. I believe God was preparing me, showing me His existence so that I would see what was lacking in the world around me, namely a reverence for Him and His desires for us.
So, for three decades I have watched this country descend into ruin and have done nothing. Last year, I reached a point where I wanted nothing more than to die and leave this world of pain. In the end, I was faced with an undeniable truth. If God didn't want me here He would have taken me long ago. That line of thinking has changed my life. I came to realize that I had never really embraced Jesus and His gift of salvation. What I had done as a child was basically akin to trying to secure a reservation. You know- say that you accept Jesus and you'll have a place in Heaven so that you can go on with your depraved ungodly life and not worry. I totally overlooked His warning, "He who does the will of my Father and keeps my commandments".
I have come to understand that my purpose in this world, first and foremost, is to promote the Gospel of Christ. My desire now is to reach as many as possible and remind them that only Jesus can save our souls and that only God can sustain us through the turmoil that is sure to befall us in the near future. I've been playing guitar for 12 years now and have been told that I have talent, but I never had a desire to give that talent back to the Lord. I was all about classic rock and blues. I prefered playing my Les Paul over my acoustic and most of what I played was dark and could be percieved as evil sounding (at least to my ear). About a year ago I started questioning wether I should lay down the guitar because I wasn't using it to glorify God. I grieved over that notion for quite some time. Thankfully, when I made the decision to commit myself to the Lord He gave me new desires and a new love for better music. I don't care for contemporary Christian music, but in keeping with my old fashioned nature and a love for keeping to old ways, my desire now is to keep the old hymns alive that I don't hear much anymore. I found a songbook that I inherited from my mother along with her Yamahah SJ180 acoustic, 12 yrs ago when she died. Didn't even remember that I had it. "103 Golden Gospel Greats". I want to learn as many old hymns as I can, so that I can find a place to sit and sing to God for all to hear. I went from being obsessed with playing blistering loud electric leads and grinding rhythms to having no desire other than to carry a song ont the acoustic and sing the Gospel. I've never been one for country type music, but I am from Texas and have been cursed with the signature "Twang". I think I may have found my niche. Now if I could only find someone to play with. The people I've been jamming with lately do not share my love of God and really would prefer if I just stick to my electric and play what they consider "cool". I just can't keep doing that. Everytime we play I keep thinking, "We are making music that must make the devil smile, but I doubt if God is impressed". I find myself comprimising and it makes me sad to do that. At the same time I don't want to offend them. I'm reminded over and over of Jesus' words, "You cannot serve God and mammon". I'm to the point where I just want to make music with someone who shares my faith. Someone who wants to make simple straight-forward music that is pleasing to the Lord, reminds others of Him and brings Him to their attention. I don't care if it's a guy who plays the tambourine and sings harmony, or a fiddle player, or preferably someone who plays lead and just wants someone to provide a backdrop for them to show off. Bottom line, I just want to make music for God and I don't want to do it alone. I don't think I would fit into a church setting, not yet anyway. Maybe someday.
I have no idea exactly how God will use the desires which I am quite sure He gave to me. All I know is that despite my introverted insecure nature, I burn inside with a need to find a way I can glorify God publicly and feed His sheep. He will place me where He wants me in His own time. My struggle is in having faith and being patient while he prepares me internally.
Y'all pray for me, if you would. I am surrounded by friends who want to drag me away from my goal and few, if any, who want to encourage. I really like this forum. I sense God's presence in this place. : )
