Man Laws

[elio]

Sorry - one more:
Man Law: Gym Etiquette
Whilst at the gym, a man-athlete shall not make any comments about the physical appearance of another man-athlete, such as bicep size. Exceptions to the rule are licensed professional trainers (if authorized by the MMB).
The wearing of Lycra is also not allowed.
Failure to comply will result in withdrawal of the man-card and automatic enrolment in the Richard Simmons Fan Club.

[THE WOLFMAN]

Sorry - one more:
Man Law: Gym Etiquette
Whilst at the gym, a man-athlete shall not make any comments about the physical appearance of another man-athlete, such as bicep size. Exceptions to the rule are licensed professional trainers (if authorized by the MMB).
The wearing of Lycra is also not allowed.
Failure to comply will result in withdrawal of the man-card and automatic enrolment in the Richard Simmons Fan Club.

"FAAAAAABULOUSSS!"

[yielded]

1. Under no circumstances are you to initiate conversation at the urinals.

2. Always look straight ahead or straight down while using the urinal.

[sjonathan02]

1. Under no circumstances are you to initiate conversation at the urinals.

2. Always look straight ahead or straight down while using the urinal.

MANLAW!!


You should ALWAYS read all of the MANLAWS before posting one of "your own"

[B3Wannabe]

MANLAW!!


You should ALWAYS read all of the MANLAWS before posting one of "your own"

http://www.learngospelmusic.com/forums/index.php/topic,36412.msg291394.html#msg291394

[malthumb]

MANLAW

The only appropriate answer to "Does this make my butt look big?" is NO.  No other words, no other explanations.  Expounding will only get you in trouble.  If you think that saying NO (the ONLY appropriate answer) will compromise your integrity, you may think to yourself, but not say aloud, the rest of the sentence. ("No....Your butt makes your butt look big")

MANLAW

[sjonathan02]

MANLAW

The only appropriate answer to "Does this make my butt look big?" is NO.  No other words, no other explanations.  Expounding will only get you in trouble.  If you think that saying NO (the ONLY appropriate answer) will compromise your integrity, you may think to yourself, but not say aloud, the rest of the sentence. ("No....Your butt makes your butt look big")

MANLAW

MANLAW

No need for discussion here, this is a law!!!!

[LadyWiz]

MANLAW

The only appropriate answer to "Does this make my butt look big?" is NO.  No other words, no other explanations.  Expounding will only get you in trouble.  If you think that saying NO (the ONLY appropriate answer) will compromise your integrity, you may think to yourself, but not say aloud, the rest of the sentence. ("No....Your butt makes your butt look big")

MANLAW

  A wise man indeed!

[BigFoot_BigThumb]

Proposal....Never watch any Madea plays or movies in a room full of women when you are the only man present!!! 

When the man does something bad to the woman, they all stare at you like you did it.  Believe me I know this from experience.  I was very scared


MANLAW?????

[malthumb]

Proposal....Never watch any Madea plays or movies in a room full of women when you are the only man present!!! 

When the man does something bad to the woman, they all stare at you like you did it.  Believe me I know this from experience.  I was very scared


MANLAW?????

Got my vote

[THE WOLFMAN]

Proposal....Never watch any Madea plays or movies in a room full of women when you are the only man present!!! 

When the man does something bad to the woman, they all stare at you like you did it.  Believe me I know this from experience.  I was very scared


MANLAW?????

Be afraid....be very afraid....

[malthumb]

Manlaw:  Stoplight Etiquette
1) If you are at a stoplight and the car next to you revs his engine, you must reciprocate.
2) If the car next to you continues to rev his engine, you must consider taking appropriate action when the light turns green UNLESS

• You have children in the car
• Your significant other is in the car (unless she's 'bout it 'bout it)
• You have reason to believe there might be police presence nearby
• The car next to you is a hoopty and the driver is revving the engine to keep it from shuttin' off

Manlaw?

[flojo4jc]

Manlaw:  Stoplight Etiquette

• The car next to you is a hoopty and the driver is revving the engine to keep it from shuttin' off

Hahaha!!!

[nessalynn77]

Manlaw:  Stoplight Etiquette
1) If you are at a stoplight and the car next to you revs his engine, you must reciprocate.
2) If the car next to you continues to rev his engine, you must consider taking appropriate action when the light turns green UNLESS

• You have children in the car
• Your significant other is in the car (unless she's 'bout it 'bout it)
• You have reason to believe there might be police presence nearby
• The car next to you is a hoopty and the driver is revving the engine to keep it from shuttin' off

Manlaw?

Hilarious!!!


Don't tell nobody, but I sometimes feel the racing urge, too.

[elio]

Manlaw:  Stoplight Etiquette
1) If you are at a stoplight and the car next to you revs his engine, you must reciprocate.
2) If the car next to you continues to rev his engine, you must consider taking appropriate action when the light turns green UNLESS

• You have children in the car
• Your significant other is in the car (unless she's 'bout it 'bout it)
• You have reason to believe there might be police presence nearby
• The car next to you is a hoopty and the driver is revving the engine to keep it from shuttin' off

Manlaw?

A-men!

I once did it in the church van!

[LyricTenor]

A-men!

I once did it in the church van!

 

NOT THE CHURCH VAN!!!! 

 

[LyricTenor]

Two words fellas:

FEATHER DUSTERS!   

The floor is now open.

[LyricTenor]

A few more for ya:

• On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
• When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
• Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. EVER. Issue closed.
• If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

• The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

Fanny Pacc/Man Purse.  If you have anything to say on this one (other than 'NEVER!':

(a) Hold your hand out in front of your face, palm inward.
(b) Run into it repeatedly w/your face until unconsciousness ensues.

[THE WOLFMAN]

NOT THE CHURCH VAN!!!! 

 

hope mother jenkins an' 'em wasnt in there...

[LyricTenor]

hope mother jenkins an' 'em wasnt in there...

Now you KNOW that Sis. O'Dell is the gangsta of the church!