Sounds like you two just have some negative personal experiences with this issue. As a former MoM, I never played
especially since I'm not that good.....yet, but you couldn't keep me from directing the choir.
My MoM NEVER plays, but he does do most of the leads to songs. One, because he wrote them. Two, because he brings the necessary energy that the
PASTOR needs every Sunday. Believe me, when he's NOT there, there's a drop-off, unfortunately.
(and I haven't shared with him that I may be able to assist in that area, but oh well.)